ticking

you know what's really rotten?  i went to maggie's halloween party today and picked up all the kids afterwards, since it was almost time for car riders to be released.  i was going from classroom to classroom gathering up all my little ones and i got to carson's fourth grade class and remember picking up molly in fourth grade.  i felt my chest squeeze thinking about going to the sixth grade room to get her.  its the last time i will go get her from a class party in that building.  ugghh.  i wanted to send her back to fourth grade so they have a few more years all together.  i hate how fast they are growing up and i can't stop it.  i can't have any more, and i can't stop the ones i have from growing up.
i know i must of blogged about this a hundred times, and i can't help it.  i know that it is inevitable, and that i will love them big also.  i just really really love them little.  i love them even though they wear me slick.
i love them little even though i look like a crazy lady chasing them all around the grocery store and bribing them with candy.  even though i lug eight gallons of milk into my cart every week.  i was thinking the other day while i was unloading my van of costco food how sad i would be when i only had one gallon of milk to buy at the store.  funny how i complain about it, but i know deep down i love it.  i love having a household to shop for and cook for, i love having 2-3 loads of laundry to do a day.  i know my husband loves it too.
because every morning you have five sleepy heads sitting around the table eating breakfast together and chatting about their day.  every night i have five little bodies hugging me tight and kissing me good night.
i know its so cheesy and sounds so crazy but its so true. believe me there are rough days, messy days and days i snap at them for being so self centered.  for the most part it is good.  loud, sloppy, shoes all over the living room and crumbs all over the floor good.  i choke up thinking about them growing up and not wanting to kiss me good night or beg their daddy to carry them up the stairs.  my oldest who was oh so independent and moved to the basement, has now returned where she belongs, upstairs sharing a bed with her five year old sister.  i love that they snuggle into bed every night and have each other.  i will soon have to figure out a way to slip the baby in with them when she outgrows her crib.  she is already wanting to climb into their bed and lay between them at bedtime, and gets her feelings so hurt when we pull her out.
she is kind of rotten and gets her feelings hurt about most everything, so i don't take it too personal.
i can't stop the clock from ticking, but i can remind myself to enjoy every day i have now.