game on

there was a day when i raised my children the love and logic way. this means that when they exhibited behavior that their dad or i did not approve of, i would say a catch phrase like "that's sad, looks like we need a little bedroom time." they knew that i would then either lead them by the hand kindly, or take them kicking and screaming to their room and close the door. when they were calm, they could come back out and try again. it was up to them. i remember several times i had to physically hold the door shut to keep carson contained, but after a couple days of hard core love and logicing, he got it. they also get lots of choices, to empower themselves. it teaches them responsibility to better prepare them for the real world. if they choose to wear shorts and a tee shirt when its january and 10 degrees outside, so be it. when they come home from school sad that they couldn't go to recess, and their fingers are frozen from the bus stop to our door, i would tell them i really felt bad for them, then ask them what they thought might work better to wear tomorrow.

i once let ashton go to preschool without shoes, because i told him the van left at 8:45, i hoped he would be in it and ready to go then. he chose to play around, not eat breakfast, and not get his shoes on. when i got in the van and started it up promptly at 8:45, he hopped in so i would not leave him.
half way there he said, oh no i forgot my shoes mom. i said, well buddy that is really sad - i hope tomorrow you will remember. i took him in barefoot and he had to stay the whole day like that. he then started getting ready. he knew i meant business. carson had to go to bed without dinner a few times because he chose to not eat what i served the family. his dad told him very sincerely he was sorry, but he could look forward to a nice big breakfast, all he wanted. he is still working on the not so picky skill.

somewhere along the way, i went from being really energetic with my parenting, to half way parenting. i still love them, feed them and clothe them, i just have been slacking on the teaching responsibility part. this is clearly evidenced by my beautiful free spirited four year old. she throws fits, screams, stomps, the whole enchilada when she doesn't get her way. i just turn my head. sometimes she does it so much i get frustrated and yell at her. sometimes i just give in to her.
what am i teaching her? nothing! to act horrid and expect a payout. i do not like being around kids who act like that, not even my own.

well miss goldilocks, im sorry to say, but mama has new found strength. i am back on the bandwagon of parenting with both my head and my heart. i am starting tonight with the love and logic i used to believe in. i simply do not have time for terrible spoiled children. i also fear there may be a mini goldilocks in the making, so i better get a handle on both these little beauties while i still can.