through the glass

so its been a little bit of a rough week with our youngest boy. he got frustrated outside and hit the neighbor girl on the hand with a metal shovel. he then got in very big trouble by both parents, and got his video games taken away for the week.
it was total sadness for the boy on every level.
it is very humbling to think you have a good kid on the block, and then discover he is whacking little girls with garden tools.
we talked about it and realized maybe its not all ashton's fault, but our fault also.
as far as kids go, he is very easy. he entertains himself, he gets his own snacks, and rarely asks for anything. my other children are high maintenance in that regard. they want you to read to them, talk to them, listen to their stories, fix their snacks, take them places, just be near them and attend to them - a lot. he doesn't.
so i guess, we don't. we are busy every minute of the day, so if he is happy, we let him be. he plays a lot of wii, computer and legos. he plays outside on his own, he gets poptarts and water when he is hungry.
i really started feeling guilty about this after he whopped the little girl's hand.
i really got on to him, and he cried really hard.
it made me think about all the time he spends doing things my other kids didn't at his age. maybe he wouldn't of lost his cool if i spent more time interacting with him.
i took him and maggie to gymnastics this week, like i always do. its a parent/tot class, so i go into the gym with her and hop around, sing, and be silly - just her and i. he sits in the waiting room and plays legos.
its a 45 minute class, no big deal.
this week mr. chad (the teacher)got out the parachute. we were sitting around it singing wheels on the bus when i looked up at the viewing window.
through the glass i see ashton just staring out at us. just standing perfectly still, not sad, not happy, just watching. just watching his mama play with his little sister. watching and waiting for us to be done. he isn't in any activites, he doesn't get to go to a class and play parachute with his mama. i can't even type this without getting a physical pain in my stomach.
live and learn i guess.
try harder.
do better.
don't ever look up and see a sweet face watching you through the glass again.

the virgin mary

i was looking at old pictures on the computer with maggie today. we ran across some of me when i was very large and pregnant with little maggie. i said maggie - that is you in my tummy, you lived in there before you were born. she said, "i was in dare under your shirt?" and i said yes, inside my tummy until you were ready to come out, see how big it was? she kind of looked down at her own protruding belly and that was that.
we really didn't talk about it anymore, just kept looking at pictures.
later that day, my mom and dad (against their better judgement) let her spend the night at their house for the first time.
i got a phone call from my mom around 5AM wanting to tell me a funny story about the evening.
maggie approached my mom and patted her big round belly.
she said "gwandma, i hab a baby in my belly."
my mom says, "oh you do?"
maggie says "yes, he's been in dare a long time and im sabing him in dare."
my mom says, "well what is his name?"
maggie says "well gwandma, his name is jesus."

uncomfortable moments

I took miss maggie with me to home depot today. i needed to purchase the ceiling fan, light fixture and mirror for the downstairs bathroom and bedroom.
we made our selections and i was walking through the nearly empty store when a lady who worked there walked in front of us. she was kind of husky and had a boyish looking haircut. they all wear those little vests and slacks, so i guess could be interpreted as male or female clothing.
my daughter thinking she had really figured something out for this gal starts yelling at her.
"haaaaay, you are a booooy!! i am a giwl, and you are a boy. i a giwl, you a boy."
she just kept it up, and i had no idea what to do. finally a dad and son come around the corner and hallelujah i say "yes maggie, he is a boy, he is a daddy, and that is his little boy."
close call.
once again.

no shirt no shoes no service

it has been another crazy week around our household. we are finishing our basement, getting ready for easter, and trying to fit in kids activities around it all.
i was taking ashton to preschool tuesday, along with maggie and the dog so that the workers would not have to step over them.
i loaded them all up in the van with 8 minutes to get there on time.
we pull in right at 9am and i am trying to keep the puppy in the van, haul maggie out of her seat and get ashton in the school.
he hops to the van door and says to me
"mommy, did you remember my shoes?"
i look down at his socked feet and respond
"well, no buddy i didn't. who's job is it to remember your shoes?"
he just stared at me.
i thought about this.
isn't this one of those moments where you are defined as a helicopter parent or a love and logic parent? i mean, i felt bad making him walk in there with no shoes, and i felt plenty stupid myself. but its a chance to teach a lesson, right?
love and logic it was, since i had no time to run home anyhow.
i walked my very embarassed boy into his classroom and explained to his teacher, the directer and the handful of nosy parents who had gathered around my explanation.
"i told him the van is leaving in five minutes, get ready to go, this was his idea of being ready, so that is how he is coming to school."
his teacher asked me how i thought this would go over.
"im not sure, but i betcha he won't forget again."

so far, he has not.

sweet moments

maggie says to the construction worker coming up from the basement, covered in dry wall dust "i weely like your shirt."
he says, "thanks"
she says, "hold still i need to take your picture." she then holds up her princess phone and pretends to shoot pics of him.
jeff pours her a chocolate milk and the syrup is almost gone, so it makes a funny noise when he squirts it out.
maggie goes back to the worker and says "hey worker, i drinking chocolate toots."
he says "what was that?"
she says, "i said i drinking chocolate toots."
lovely.

meet me in st. louis

spring break 10 the family ventured to st. louis. jeff being the totally adventurous one decided to ride the amtrak from kc to st. louis with the four children and i drove alone in blissful peace. (in all honestly i was actually lonely) i guess the train ride wasn't all it was cracked up to be, exposing our children to bums, alcoholics and lots of bare stinky feet. apparantly one stinky guy really liked maggie and was trying to make conversation with them, jeff headed him off quite quickly. good thing it was just a five hour drive!
i picked them up from the train station and off we went, exploring the city.
we tried the "free" science center, which after 12 dollars in parking, you go in and realize anything fun your children might want to do, costs a good chunk of change. we were tired and hungry, so i might be unfair in judging it harshly, but over all it was dirty and not so much fun.
being the totally organized traveler i am, i had mapquested routes to every destination, from the planned place we would be at to our new destination. the first nights dinner was to be at the famous crown candy kitchen, as seen on "man vs. food milkshake competition". carson loves that show and was ready for a milkshake challenge.
unfortunately my clever directions landed us right in the middle of the hood.
no kidding, there were "popping" noises, young males running across the street and hiding in between parked cars and houses. it took a good seven blocks for us to wind our way out of that mess.

real culture children. duck your heads and don't look up.
we aborted the dinner and drove to the burbs of kirkwood instead.
pizza and shopping, much safer.


the next day we went to the zoo - which was nicer than ours, but not quite omaha.
the highlight here were the "zebras without stripes" better known as:

seriously?

after a big expensive lunch on the historic hill, we decided this family should just go find a target, buy food and have a picnic for dinner. funny how the simplest of things can be the most fun. we bought them dollar jump ropes and bubbles and headed back to our hotel where we could simply walk over to the arch. we layed out a blanket and feasted on peanut butter sandwiches, fruit, trail mix, pretzels and easter candy under the arch. delicious, fun and low stress.
this will probably be our favorite memory of the trip. oh - i forgot to mention while dining at the old italian place carson set off the
alarms by trying to exit the wrong door. that got some old italian men moving away from their plates and to us pretty quickly.


the last day was spent at the magic house in kirkwood. way fun, affordable and they are already asking when they can go back. maggie almost caused a little scuffle by telling a little boy in the make believe pizza shop to get away from her pizza, its not for babies and he cant touch it. his mama didnt appreciate her directness.
i think it is important that girls learn how to shoot it straight.


low points - the train, the hood, pricey meals and deceptive "free" activities.
high points - picnic under the arch, magic house, memories made in a new city together.

dental trouble

so molly and i had our dentist appointments yesterday. i thought it would be clever to take maggie along so she could start getting used to the dentist chair and what happens there.
dr. george is about 15 minutes away. about 14 minutes into the car ride, maggie falls asleep. its 4pm. she isn't really allowed to nap that late, bc that means there will be a party at our house until around, oh say midnight.
i pulled in, got her out and carried her in with molly by my side. she fell back asleep on my shoulder. i let molly go first while i held mags, thinking 10 minutes should do her ok.
molly's teeth were lovely, she was done and it was my turn. maggie was still snoozing on my shoulder. i tried to gently lay her down on a blanket they got for me.
well, gently doesn't happen when your 6 feet tall and your child is 42 lbs. i lugged her on the ground, surely this would wake her. nope. she fell asleep, flat on her back in the middle of our little cubicle.
this rotten child won't sleep at home on my pillow top mattress with fleece blankets and pillows. now she decides to sleep on tile floor in a brightly lit dental office?
give me a break.
i got in the chair, let the tech start cleaning my teeth and told molly to start gently waking her. kindly rub her leg and talk to her please.
so molly, being the lovely child she is, rubs maggie's leg and asks her if she would like one of her prizes.
im locked in the chair with drool coming out of my mouth and a bib on.
maggie springs awake and starts kicking the very thin wall, still on her back, and begins screaming. "NOOOOOO MOLLLY I DONT WANT YOUR TREATS. NOOOO NOOO NOOO NOOO..."
over and over, loud as she could.
everyone in the office, including dr. george comes running to our stall.
this freaks her out more, and she starts flailing about on the floor like a big carp washed up on the bank. screaming, hitting, kicking.
i just keep laying there while she polishes my teeth. i try to say something like
its ooaaakkayamaaaii. but just gibberish comes out.

dr. george just said, well, looks like she is not going to be like molly, huh?