coffee break

5:58am- "i sleep witch you." maggie gets in bed and does more wiggling, less sleeping.
hubby gets her settled, doze back off into sweet sweet dreamland.
6:17am- "can we wake up now?" no ashton, its too early, go back to sleep.
6:40am - "is it time to wake up yet?" no carson, not really, can we sleep a little longer?
7am - "can i play wii?" no ashton you can't play wii this early, you have to eat and go to swim lessons. "do you want a hug and kiss?" yes of course i do my love "if you let me play wii i will give you a hug and kiss."

i roll out of bed and start down the stairs to get my coffee going.

7:15am- "can i have chocolate milk?" yes buddy, you can have milk.
enter carson, stage left.
"can i play wii?" no carson, you have swim lessons.
enter molly stage left.
"can i have waffles?" yes molly, im getting them.
"can i have muffin tops?" yes carson, im getting molly's waffles and ashton's chocolate milk, then i will get yours."
enter maggie, stage right.
"i want milk mommy, i want milk mommy, i want milk mommy." i get beaned in the leg with her sippy cup as she grabs onto me.
here is you milk ashton.
"can i have orange juice?" yep molly, im right on top of that.
"can i have chocolate milk?" yes car, in just a second.
"can i have more chocolate milk mommy?" just a second ashton.
"i want milk mommy" maggie, im trying to get it.
"i want to sit there carson - that's where i was sitting" says ashton.
push shove, ashton is now crying, maggie is crying (its a reflex to others crying) and carson is sitting at the counter waiting for his breakfast.
"i want dora mommy, dora and milk mommy."
yes maggie, im getting it.
"i don't like this cup." im sorry ashton, that is what is clean.
"hay dats my cup." maggie, he is using it right now, you are fine.
push, shove, ashton is screeching and maggie is crying.
"can i just pour my own orange juice mommy?" yes molly, be careful.
"are my muffin's ready yet?" carson, im getting them.

and it goes on like that. meanwhile i didn't get the coffee pot in there quite right and it is now spilling all over the floor and counter. rats.

i really need to get this smoothed out before school starts.

screen time

signs your two year old may be watching too many cartoons:

you are walking through costco and see a lady trying out a recliner. your two year old starts yelling at her to "get outta my thinking chair - haaay dats my thinking chair lady!!!"

you are on your way to the grocery store and she asks you in all seriousness
"do we hab to go through crocodile lake and ober seashell bridge to get to the store?"

you are paying for your groceries and hand the lady your shopper card. she
yells out "oh man, that lady swiped our stuff."

i do try to be the good mom who always lets her children play outside, i do. but sometimes you just need a break from cleaning this stuff up everyday.

who loves ya

things that go on while i am away at work.

they get to eat pizza and pretzels for dinner
they get to play outside in the dirt and sand as long as they want
they get to take an hour and a half bath with lots of bubbles and bath paints
they get to stay up until 10 oclock and watch tv
the baby gets to sleep on mama's pillow snuggled up next to her daddy and the big kids have slumber parties in each other's rooms

then i come home.

they have to eat veggies with their dinner
they get fussed at for getting in the sand and dirt
they take quick showers or a very hurried bath with not too many bubbles (we dont want any skin irritation, and don't even get me started on those darn bathtub crayons - did the creator of those ever see a tub after children have used them?)
they go to bed by 8:30 pm
the baby is put to sleep by dad and then moved to her bed and the big kids sleep in their beds

so it should come as no surprise to me that maggie woke up from her nap today wanting her daddy only. she looks at me and says "no mama i want daddy" and runs to him, hugging on him, kissing on him and flashing me dirty looks. he tried to reason with her and tell her to love on her mom, that she was making me sad, but she really would have nothing to do with me.

i scooped her up and rocked her and she arched her back and screamed for her daddy.

seriously baby? i hate to go here, but in addition to catching your puke in my bare hands, i carried you for nine months, my leg looks like i have elephantitis from the horrid varicose veins you caused me and i can no longer sleep all night because you and your siblings turned my bladder into a punching bag, requiring me to visit the restroom more than my grandpa.

how quickly they can turn on you.

i give her a womb to grow and thrive in, nourishment to live on, and more love than an army of angels could house, and she chooses the one who lets her eat dirt and scribble on my bathtub.

go figure!!


(editors note: please know, my husband does not really let my children eat dirt and he is a fantastic dad who can manage all four like a true rock star)

the bank

i feel that when you are a parent it is the hard days that deposit money into the "parenting bank" i think when you just think you cant do it for another minute - but you do, thats when it really counts.
i think you get extra deposits added in for the sleepless nights, catching puke in your own hands... etc...

here are some ways i earned a few extra bucks this week.
~holding maggie down on the treatment room table while she was getting her blood drawn and cathed for a ua. even though i wanted to cry with her, i just kept singing to her, loving her through it.
~letting her puke bile on my shoulder three times the next morning
~not hauling off and whipping my son for running through the house in dirty cowboy boots. trying to remain calm and tell him that makes mommy very sad, to please remember to take his shoes off outside.
~holding ashton through his enormous tantrum last night, not losing my cool, but talking him through it, even when he was yelling he didnt like me anymore.

i may have lost a couple dollars when i did happen to
~whip the same little boy who ran through the house again in his dirty cowboy boots
~yell at that same boy when he stole his sisters fireworks, tripped his little brother and caused great chaos through an already tired house
~fed my children mcdonalds instead of cooking something more nourishing

as long as i keep breaking even, i will never go broke.