stringent

so when you take something for granted, it really hits you in the face when reality strikes. my sweet molly recently scored high enough on her spelling test to advance to the class spelling bee. she did this last year, if you remember and made it all the way to the county bee as a fourth grader. she also made it pretty far in the county bee, getting out when there were only a handful of crazy smart private school type kids left.
she did not just assume she would win the class bee, she studied several nights preparing for it. these were the same words as last year, so it wasn't a lot of work for her to memorize them.
i knew when she got off the bus, walking slow with her head hanging what had happened. immediate tears as she fell into her daddy and just sobbed. poor baby girl.
the word she missed was the very first round. stringent. she has never missed that word. it has never even gotten a second thought from us, she spits it out every time.
honestly, she is like a robot going through them, just firing them off, one after another, amazing.
she said she got up there and started to spell it and the boys in her class starting giggling at her. the teacher had to stop them, and then she just repeated the in again... a no no for spelling bees. no repeating, no do overs. so she was out.
rats.
no big deal in the grand scheme of life, but huge to a fifth grade sensitive bookworm.
the girl has hives from crying so hard. i dont know what to tell her, but to tell her we love her no matter what, and this just wasn't the plan for this year.
i might be a tiny bit relieved we don't have to study for the next three months... but not enough to watch her cry.
there is no greater pain my heart feels, then when i think about my kids hurting, getting laughed at, or feeling disappointment. all necessary growing pains, i realize... reminds me when i would get hurt as a child and my mom would flinch in pain herself, saying it was like a knife twisting in her stomach. i get it now mom.