thanksgiving

thanksgiving. time to give thanks. i give thanks for my dad still being here this year. i love that god has given him another shot, more time, more health, more life to live with his family. i love that i just spent thanksgiving with my parents, eating the foods i grew up on, saying the prayers that comfort me. looking across the table and seeing my four beautiful children, parents and husband. its a tradition i hope my children take to heart and continue forever.
we will go to my husband's family tomorrow and eat the foods he grew up on, see the cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents that make his holidays so special.
i have family in town. i have two brothers that live within 30 minutes of me and one that is a couple hours away, but i won't share turkey with them this year. why? i don't know. i just think family is a funny thing. family describes those people who would lay their life down for you without hesitation. those that through squabble, pride, love and laughs you would do anything for. that is my family. that is my brothers. why aren't we together? i don't know. we say things like, we are busy, gotta work, tired, etc... i don't know.
i know that i love them. i respect them. i admire them. love their families.
want to be close to them. my brother closest to me in age has been my hero my whole lifetime. i have always had him on the highest pedestal. to me, he will always be the strongest, smartest, most fun person i know.
i don't believe any of them read my blog, or even know i have one. these things i say, i don't say to them. there are reasons we don't see each other. reasons that mean nothing in the grand picture of life.
i ran a half marathon this week and saw a man younger than all three of my brothers lying in the grass, half naked, blue and getting compressions. no heart beat. his family had to be informed of this news while waiting with signs for their husband/father to cross the finish line. he made it to mile 12. it just put things in perspective.
i give thanks that i have a big loving family. i pray that i have them a little closer next thanksgiving.

running

two weeks until my half marathon. im not embarrassed to admit that i am pretty proud of myself for coming so far. i remember when i started running a couple years ago, i headed out of my cul de sac and felt my chest tighten in the first block. my pants were tight and my fat roll was hanging over them. i could barely make it one song without feeling like my heart was exploding. i was mortified every time a car drove by me, hoping they weren't shaking their head in pity. then i could run two songs, and three. then i could run a mile. a few months later i ran three miles for the first time. i wasn't until a couple of months ago that i could run four. then my friend talked me into training for the half marathon in november. i laughed. then i started. i ran five, then six, seven, eight, nine and today - ten. ten miles in just under two hours. im so amazed at what your body can do, when your mind is set to it. i now know that the half will be tough, but totally something this girl can do.
its one thing i do every day, i stick to it, even when i dont want to. my ipod told me the other day i just crossed the 750 mile mark. i ran 750 miles in the past two years. i have lost about 10 lbs, not a lot, but enough to put me where i am happy, healthy and no longer stressing over everything that goes into my mouth. i think it has been since junior high since i felt that way.
i haven't registered for the race yet, because even up until today, i wasn't sure if it was something i could do. now im sure, and im off to register.