My house of six

decision time

2012-02-05T22:34:00.003-06:00

i have been trying to decide whether or not to continue on with my grad school classes to get another master's degree. i have completed one, yaaaah me. i am in the process of my second.
the first one was a no brainer. it was free, and not too far from home, one day a week. this one was not free, and i have not really ever been sure if two master's are really that much better than one.
i do know that while i am away at school, my children are growing. while i am stressing over papers, my family is having fun without me. while i am sitting with my buddy microsoft office, my baby is learning to crawl.
my husband and i sat down tonight and had a long discussion. he is very good to bounce things off of because, unlike me, he is truly non judgmental. he analyzes facts and makes decisions based on the facts. no emotions, just true reason. i toy with decisions, agonize over my own guilt, begin to think irrationally about the outcomes.
after 6 long weeks of my own internal deliberation, i have made the decision to take my msn and be complete! i am officially done with school after this monday night.
i have made a 4.0 and will have the pretty little initials behind my name.
i feel like a giant weight is off my shoulders.
my first monday night off i am going out for pizza with the kids to celebrate.
jeff and i are both officially done with school. finally an outside weight has been released, giving me a little more breathing room with my top priority - my family.

Stress Free

2012-01-18T19:55:00.001-06:00

A homework assignment I read tonight, written by my firstborn.

Stress Free
I can be rather worrisome and stressful. That is why, by the end of this year I want people to think of me as stress free. I think that by being stress free I could be a better student, daughter, sister, and friend. Besides by stressing over the littlest things, the people around me mentally note that I would not be good in a crisis. That is why I need to be stress free.
One thing I need to work on in order to be stress free is to quit worrying about every single possibility. I need to understand that whatever happens is what happens, because there is no time machine to go back and fix it. I also need to lighten up about whatever happens, because I can deal with it. Walking around stressed will get me nowhere in life. One more thing I need to accomplish in order to be stress free is the ability to live in the moment.
Another thing that I feel I am struggling with is the self-control to let go of little, unimportant, things. To master this skill, I need to focus on bigger things such as family and religion. I also need to recognize that the past is unchangeable and the present is what I need to focus on. I have decided to make this my motto; “Yesterday was the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift, that is why it is called the present. But I will still remember my old motto; “Dream as though you will live forever, live as though you will die tomorrow.”
One last thing I need to work on to be considered stress free is being able to cherish every last moment .That is the meaning of stopping to smell the roses, which I consider an important life skill. I also have to enjoy the life of a kid, as it will not last forever. Truly understanding the people around you is also very important. I also need to slow down.
By the end of this year I want people to think of me as stress free. One last reason I want to be stress free is because if I stress too much I will get stomach ulcers (yikes!). If I was stress free I would have a clearer mind, and with that, the sky is the limit. The people around me will trust me more because I will be able to keep a clear head in a crisis if I were stress free. That is why this year, my word is stress free.
as written by Molly Wooster

stringent

2012-01-17T17:28:00.004-06:00

so when you take something for granted, it really hits you in the face when reality strikes. my sweet molly recently scored high enough on her spelling test to advance to the class spelling bee. she did this last year, if you remember and made it all the way to the county bee as a fourth grader. she also made it pretty far in the county bee, getting out when there were only a handful of crazy smart private school type kids left.
she did not just assume she would win the class bee, she studied several nights preparing for it. these were the same words as last year, so it wasn't a lot of work for her to memorize them.
i knew when she got off the bus, walking slow with her head hanging what had happened. immediate tears as she fell into her daddy and just sobbed. poor baby girl.
the word she missed was the very first round. stringent. she has never missed that word. it has never even gotten a second thought from us, she spits it out every time.
honestly, she is like a robot going through them, just firing them off, one after another, amazing.
she said she got up there and started to spell it and the boys in her class starting giggling at her. the teacher had to stop them, and then she just repeated the in again... a no no for spelling bees. no repeating, no do overs. so she was out.
rats.
no big deal in the grand scheme of life, but huge to a fifth grade sensitive bookworm.
the girl has hives from crying so hard. i dont know what to tell her, but to tell her we love her no matter what, and this just wasn't the plan for this year.
i might be a tiny bit relieved we don't have to study for the next three months... but not enough to watch her cry.
there is no greater pain my heart feels, then when i think about my kids hurting, getting laughed at, or feeling disappointment. all necessary growing pains, i realize... reminds me when i would get hurt as a child and my mom would flinch in pain herself, saying it was like a knife twisting in her stomach. i get it now mom.

Two things

2011-12-12T18:21:00.003-06:00

Grandpa and his baby.

Christmas tree made out of the hands and feet of my babies.

That's all. Just two sweet things that made me smile today.

Annie's birth

2011-11-08T12:32:00.007-06:00

no matter what happens in this crazy busy life, this is what is is all about. it is these moments that make everything worthwhile.

expectations

2011-11-03T18:58:00.003-05:00

i knew i had over extended myself long ago when i made several decisions that would shape the remainder of this year and next. it was completely and totally my choice to get my masters, decide to continue on with my mba, teach and work. it was my choice to be away from my family as much as i am. that being said, i do have an amazing husband who can manage the five beings without complaint. he has hauled them to football, to school, to the dentist, to the store... you name it.
i recently went from monday night to thursday afternoon without so much as laying eyes on my three oldest children. i miss them with my whole being when i am away so much, start doubting the importance of what i am doing, and my own priorities. when i get time with them, i have such high expectations that i often mess up.
tonight for example, i was going to be home with four of them so i wanted to be super fun and involved. i looked up crafts on the Internet and decided to make angel dough.
it is a mix of baby oil and flour. it makes a silky soft dough that smells wonderful and is wonderful on the skin.
fun!
i mixed it up and got a greasy concoction that was similar to moon dough. crumbly and messy. while the older were good about not being too messy, at one point i heard maggie singing - its raining ice cream. wheeeeeee its raining. awesome.
so i am trying to clean up oily flour crap while hold a baby who is hungry and tired.
so instead of being fun, i end up saying something really loving like,
don't worry kids - i'll clean up all this mess, you just go play video games, i will remember this at allowance time. don't you worry - the maid will get everything. could i get you some snacks now?
probably not the best idea to expect your four, six and ten year olds to act like 30 year olds.

addendum to the post... right after typing it my 10 year old came to me and said, mom im sorry i didn't help you clean up tonight. here, let me take the baby so you can finish what your doing.
my heart runneth over.

Leaving

2011-09-29T19:12:00.003-05:00

in less than 23 hours i will be back at work. one would honestly think that this would get easier after five children. you could even imagine i would be happy to go be around adults, get a real lunch break, get to do something out of the house.
well, i would like to be completely honest here, since it is my blog, and meant to be a scrapbook of sorts for me to read later, when the memories of all these things are faded.
its not easier. it is horrible. it hurts all the way down to my core, i cry my eyes out every time i think about it, and now it is like a giant clock counting down over my head. one more night. i have had this sweet little baby attached to me for the past eight weeks, non stop. i hold her all day long, i feed her all day and night, if i set her down, its only until i can quickly do whatever i needed to do, just to go grab her up again.
i know this is it. i know this is the last time i will experience all of this. i have already scheduled things with my ob to make this a permanent decision, without my control.
i cried the day we got home from the hospital, because i could already feel it going too quickly, i missed the pregnancy, even then. i ached to put her back inside, to keep this experience just a little longer.
i have not rushed this newborn stage, not for a second. not for one sleepless night or tiring day. she is growing and i can't stop her. she changes every day and i have already lost the tiny squishy newborn.
its not just annie though. they are each growing and changing at lightning speed.
it is just my nature to want to slow it all down. i know there are even better things ahead, i know life is full of new exciting adventures for us. im just not ready for this part to be over.
i know that when i return to work, life will move even faster. i will soon be gone four or five day a week again, and she will grow. she will grow and change when i am gone. her newborn scent will be gone. her tiny stretches and yawns.
i can't lie and say its ok, because right now its terribly sad for me.
i can thank god that i don't have to leave monday through friday and drop her into the hands of a daycare provider. i can thank god that my husband, who loves her just as much as i do will be holding her while i am away.
and that, is about all the silver lining i can find right now.

random thoughts

2011-09-06T17:42:00.003-05:00

life has become quite the whirlwind around here! not much time for writing down my thoughts. currently, i sit and type while balancing my now 5 week old on my lap. the windows are open and i can here my youngest boy playing tag. maggie and car are at football practice with their daddy. maggie is fighting croup and i don't like being left at home with her and the baby, just too hard to keep germs separated. molly is sitting outside with her friend discussing how she has decided to become a vegetarian while they crochet. she has become a grown up over night.
my days sometimes feel like the movie ground hog day, where he wakes up and every day is the same. i wake up, feed the baby, try to get her to nap, feed, rock, feed, until bedtime when i do the same thing, just in the dark.
there is the mingling of other children, chores and events in there, but annie surely gets the bulk of my time. all that will be changing very soon when i return to school, work and teaching. i once again am over scheduled, but in december i will be done with both school (for good) and clinicals. it causes me a little anxiety to know that i will be gone mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays, every other thursday, friday and saturday.
hard to type actually. that leaves me sunday for family. i will miss these days of nothing and my baby being a permanent fixture in the crook of my arm. i love being here with the family, the stress, the mess, the noise, the fighting, all of it. its really better than any life i could have ever dreamed of, silly but true.
its just going to be for two months. i can do anything for two months. feel like im saying that a lot lately!
one more thought i wanted to record for my own benefit. i have learned that this time doesn't keep, it doesn't last. every day that seems like an eternity blurs into the past, so quickly. i am watching right now when my soon to be 11 year old is sitting out there crocheting with her friends. wasn't she the baby on my lap only moments ago? i vow to stop worrying so much about barbies and legos on the floor, and just be thankful there are still little ones around to play with them.

annie claire

2011-08-07T10:47:00.005-05:00

so this will be my attempt at trying to capture one of the top moments in life into words, impossible.
i sent molly off to church camp on sunday afternoon. i promised her not to have the baby until she arrived home on thursday. oops.
tuesday morning i got up, walked, took maggie to target and came back home. we fixed lunch and i paced around the house. i went upstairs and laid on the bed and turned on food network. i felt a little twinge, and then another. this had been happening all week, so no real thoughts of anything happening. then another. then one i had to breathe through. hmmmm... maybe? i called the doctor and they told me to head on over just in case. jeff called his mom and we waited on her while i had a few more.
he was skeptical, as was i. it was around 3 o clock at this time.
we loaded up in the van and i was getting a little more uncomfortable. when we got to the hospital, the nurse said i needed to go to triage, they would do a labor check on me.
i was 5 cm and contracting every 4 minutes. they weren't really painful, just there.
she called the doctor who gave her the go ahead to admit us.
yeeaaaahhhh!!
we were both giddy and nervous. she started my iv and took us to our labor room. it was probably around 5pm now.

time to call my parents and let them know their grandbaby was on its way!
jeff went down to get our luggage, i sent some emails and we just hung out waiting for the doctor.
dr. newby was on, she told me we could see what i did on my own, or start pitocin, place and internal monitor and get the ball rolling. i chose to progress natural for a little while. i did agree to her breaking my water, which would intensify things a little.
after an hour or so i was about 7 cm and ready for my epidural. they told me he was busy and it was now or never, so i chose to go on with it. it took him another hour to make it to me, but i was doing ok.
i got the epidural placed around 8 and by 10 i was complete.
the doctor had a c-section to do, but chose to let me push for a little while first, just in case i went fast. good choice. first contraction i pushed and out she came.
easy as pie. then they asked what her name was. we hadn't really nailed that down yet.
jeff loved annie claire, i like annie caroline or vivian kate. she looked more like an annie, so let him decide. she is spunky and i think the name fits her perfect.
the part i hope to never forget was watching the doctor pull her up and jeff yelling "its a girl" i thought he was wrong, i thought surely that was a boy in there.
i guess i secretly hoped for a girl because i was overwhelmed with happiness to find out that is what she was.

she was crying right off and i just wanted to soak up her pretty face, so perfect. my first thought was she was a mixture of maggie and molly. molly's hair, maggie's nose.
then i couldn't believe god had given us five perfect healthy children.

i cried, thinking i am not that good of a person to receive such gifts, how lucky we are.
after a long night in labor monitoring me for some little postpartum issues we moved over to mother baby. i didn't so much as close my eyes until that afternoon for an hour. i just wanted to soak up every second of her newness. to say we fell in love was an understatement. it never gets old, its just as amazing this time as it was with molly.

now we are home. one big loud, crazy, happy family. mom is tired, but blissfully happy.

sister or brother?

2011-07-15T13:24:00.004-05:00

according to my doctor, we are on the two week countdown to find out what this sweet bundle is going to be. i took the girls shopping today and after much debate they voted on a girl and a boy outfit for the new sibling.

my bag is half way packed, the baby has something to wear home from the hospital, and i have finished my three classes at once. i think i can relax and get excited for my last trip down the highway and up that elevator to the third floor. its almost surreal to think that i get to have that experience all over again. i remember lying in the hospital bed waiting on maggie to make her way into the world and just trying to soak up the moment, trying to permanently implant the room, the monitor, the tiny hat and white t-shirt, the warmer, all of it into my brain. now i get it once more. that first glimpse of their face, the feeling of their skin on mine and that intoxicating smell of their hair.
i don't think jeff or i feel we could be any more blessed.

sweating the small stuff.

2011-07-06T22:03:00.004-05:00

there are a multitude of things i worry about daily in life, coming from a long line of worriers, it just comes natural to me.
while pregnant, this tendency just amplifies. i wanted this in writing, so when this baby comes, i can look back and realize there was really nothing to worry about. right?

i worry that the baby will come before 38 weeks, in which case, i will not be ready.
i worry that i will not complete all of my work for graduate school prior to this baby coming.
i worry that i won't have time to wash my bedding every week, and i love clean bedding.
i worry that when i go on maternity leave my paychecks will be cut by a huge chunk.
i worry something will happen to my husband. irrational kind of worry.
i worry that i will not get to shower daily and i will be greasy.
i worry that because i am greasy, i will not have friends anymore.
i worry about not having enough one on one time with my other four children.
i worry about not having any personal time at all.
i worry i will be paralyzed by my epidural. again, irrational worry.
i worry that my varicose veins won't go away this time.
i worry that i might be sad that i won't be pregnant anymore. crazy, i realize.
i worry i will not have my bag packed in time, or anything for the baby to wear home from the hospital.

that sums up all of the things i worry about on a daily basis. most of them just circulate through my head like a ticker throughout the day.

don't get me wrong, im overjoyed and excited to meet this gift from god, i just hope im not so worried about silly things that i don't take time to embrace it.

my table is full

2011-05-20T10:15:00.003-05:00

maggie asked me this morning why our neighbors had so many chairs at their kitchen table, but only two children. i said, i guess they were done after two maggie. she then pointed out that our kitchen table has six chairs, and we don't have any more chairs, but we are having another baby.
hmmm.
my table is full.
but im going to find room for another body to sit.
my house doesn't have anymore bedrooms either.
but im going to find room for one more little head to sleep.
the funny thing is, kids don't care about how big the table is, or how big the house is. they don't care about how much money we make, or how many opportunities we offer them. they really only want us. they want our time and our attention. they want to have a mom and dad who light up when they walk through the door. parents who pour their love out with every hug.
i love that my dinner table will be crowded. i even love that it will have spilled milk, giggling, messes and noise. i know that one day when it is just jeff and i sitting at the table, we would give anything for one more messy meal.
i can't create a nursery for this baby, or even more space at our table. this little one will just squeeze right in and our lives will be more fully blessed because of it.

chores

2011-05-04T22:43:00.003-05:00

today was my only day off this week. i now have grad school two nights a week and work three, so wednesday is my free day. sunday i am off too, but im usually strung out and all messed up trying to flip back around, so while it is a day off, it is mostly spent with my family trying to hide from me.
jeff and i worked all day around the house and yard. i went shopping all by myself for plants while he cleaned house. after maggie got out of preschool we had lunch and then went to play in the garden. jeff weeded and tilled, mixed in manure and had it all ready for me. i planted tomatoes, green beans, peppers, squash, you name it. maggie was being so sweet, just handing me things and digging for worms. she started to water before i was finished and i said, "oh maggie - don't do that yet - it will get muddy sweetie."
she looks at me in her little pink sunglasses and says "mommy, you need to not be so naggy and traumatic with me. you are always so traumatic over the littlest things."

please. i believe she meant dramatic, but point taken from my three year old.

while we were planting, jeff was busy cleaning out the cars and garage. he did pull a full value meal worth of food from the cars, many lost socks and cleaned melted gum out of the cup holder. yummy.
he got the garage in tip top shape which makes me happy like nothing else. to the point the floor was shining. i don't know why, but when i walk into a clean garage it makes my heart swell three sizes.
it was beautiful and in fact, all i wanted for mother's day.
by now the big kids were home from school and we started barking chores at them.
carson was to poop scoop while molly cleaned the kitchen.

so, jeff is finished and going to pull the van back in the garage. he hits the opener and as the garage door is rising he sees carson walking into the garage from the kitchen. he has his target bag full of poop in one hand that he has brought in from the back yard. he tries to be funny and swing it around really fast in a circle. mmmhhhmm.
so as jeff is watching, the bag explodes and dog poops covers my sparkling garage.
everywhere.
awesome.

confidence

2011-04-14T08:04:00.006-05:00

you know you have done at least one thing right in the parenting book when your children are brave enough to stick up for themselves. last night jeff took ashton to soccer while i took maggie to gymnastics. molly and carson chose to go to soccer because there is an outdoor playground there. while ashton was practicing they were outside playing. jeff said there was an older boy out there being a bully to all the other kids on the playground. he kept throwing a ball at their stomach, chest, head and then yelling - think fast. one girl went in crying. he laughed when molly got friction burn on her hands after sliding down the metal pole. he then chose to throw the ball at carson. it hit him in the stomach and he yelled - think fast. carson picked up the ball and zinged it at the boy's head. the boy ran up and pushed carson.
carson pushed him back and knocked him to the ground. he didn't say a word, just looked at the bully. the bully then got up and ran inside. ha. i will always be in support of my child defending themselves and their siblings. not taking the aggressive side, but defensive is perfectly acceptable in my book.

at the same time, maggie and i were at a different playground waiting for her gymnastics to start. she went to climb through a tunnel, but two big chunky older girls were laying across it blocking the way. they told her, sorry - no room we are in here and you can't come through. she turned to me and said, those girls are being mean mommy. i said, yes some girls are nice and some are mean. she went back to the tunnel and the girls wouldn't budge. maggie shoved her head in and climbed right over the top of them. stepping her little boots across them the whole way. she got to the other side and exclaimed - i made it! ha.

ch - ch - chia

2011-04-11T20:41:00.007-05:00

so im always on the hunt for the next most nutritional thing i can sneak in my family's food. it is now chia. as in the chia pet. the seeds are a nutritional powerhouse boasting more calcium than milk, more iron than beef liver, more antioxidants than blueberries, more omega 3's than salmon, and so on. they also hold 9 times their weight in water, so you can put a tablespoon in 4 oz of water and make a gel within 5 minutes.
chia gel, yummy. you can mix it with milk and have instant chia pudding. it just kind of looks like frog eggs.
i got mine from amazon today and made super healthy and surprisingly yummy chia chocolate chip cookies.

my recipe is as follows:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour (i use white whole wheat)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup oats
1/2 cup chia gel (about 1 tbs chia to 4 oz water - let soak x 5 minutes)
1/2 cup fat free plain greek yogurt
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) chocolate chips (i used half a bag)
3 Tbs chia seeds - more if your willing - i started with about 3-4.

mix first four ingredients in one bowl, mix next 6 ingredients in separate bowl.
add chocolate chips and dry chia seeds and stir. if mixture looks too wet, add another handful of oats. this is how i bake.
spoon them onto cookie sheets and bake for about 10-15 minutes.

my next plan is to serve them in oatmeal and sneak them into my flax/oat brownies. i have been told you can cut the hair right off your chia pet and toss it in your salad also. hmmm....

just in time for st. pat's day

2011-03-13T01:45:00.002-06:00

this is one of those recipe's you either love or hate. it reminds me of my grandma's house. we would pile around her kitchen table and fill up on these little bites of heaven.

Grandma Katie's Cabbage Rolls

1 large head cabbage - core removed
2 lbs ground beef
2 c. white rice
1 large onion, chopped finely
2 large cloves garlic, minced
1 T salt
pepper to taste
2 meduim cans (app. 12 oz) tomato paste
1 large can (28 oz) ground or pureed tomatoes

Fill a big pot with water and place your cabbage head in. Bring the water to a boil and, as the leaves turn green, remove them from the head of cabbage layer by layer. Return the cabbage for the next layer or two and so forth. Save the broken leaves for lining the cooking pot. You can remove the thick veins to make rolling easier.
Brown your beef and drain - saving a little for flavor. Add your onion to the beef and cook a little more.
Combine the beef, rice, garlic, salt and pepper in a bowl. Line a stockpot with the outermost leaves. Take the leaves and leaves fill with a scoop or so of mixture. Starting from one long end, roll the leaf, tucking in the sides as you go. Layer the rolls on top of one another in the stockpot. With a whisk, combine the tomato paste and puree with one large can full of water. Pour the tomatoes over the rolls and add enough water to just cover the rolls. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat, cover and let simmer for about an hour.

blungs

2011-03-06T03:07:00.002-06:00

maggie "mommy does the baby get hiccups inside your tummy?"
yes, it gets hiccups.
maggie "what are hiccups? will the baby throw up if it hiccups? throw up in your tummy?"
no, it wont throw up, hiccups are just when your lungs get a little tickle.
maggie "are your blungs under your punchies?"
yes, they are called lungs maggie.
maggie "when i was in your tummy did you tickle my blungs?"
she was clearly getting jealous.
yes, maggie i tickled your lungs all the time.
maggie now crying, "mommy - why you make me throw up so much?"

arrgggghhhh.

number 5

2011-02-20T03:24:00.003-06:00

i found this poem when my good friend found out she was pregnant with number 5.
means even more now.

Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

cooking

2011-02-02T18:42:00.003-06:00

some things shouldn't be shared, but oh well.
molly and i were playing scrabble at the kitchen table. maggie kept coming up to me and feeding me little pretzel goldfish crackers. she said, i cooked dis just for you mama. molly says, i wouldn't trust anything she cooks mom.
then i hear maggie in the living room singing some song about booty cookin.
yep.
she was putting goldfish down her britches and bending over in front of the space heater until her booty got hot. then she pulled out the cracker and came to me.
vomit.

prayers

2011-01-17T14:49:00.003-06:00

this was maggie's prayer last night before dinner.

dear god
thank you for eberyting. thank you for da baby in
mama's tummy.
please help dose who do not hab berry much stuff.
please help dose who do not hab cups.
please help dem find deir cups.
in your name we pray
amen

she is so thoughtful and sweet. melts my heart.

gymnastics

2011-01-11T21:23:00.005-06:00

maybe not London 2012- but it is getting us out of the house on snow days.

2010

2010-12-25T13:25:00.005-06:00

each year in this house brings on some new change or event. 2010 has proved to be no different. i think that jeff and i have the same philosophy to just do our best and go along for the ride that god has planned for us.
about a month ago, i got some shocking news by way of a positive pregnancy test. it was shocking, exciting, alarming and life changing. i was scared and emotionally overwhelmed with this news. i didn't really process it for about a week. i called the doctor and made an appointment a couple weeks later. we went in, she calmed me down but then said she should do an ultrasound to see if this was a viable pregnancy at all. sometimes it is common when you have been on birth control and are a little older to have a blighted ovum. we went right over for the ultrasound and got ready for the tiny little picture on the screen, the tiny little beating heart. i thought, once i see that i will be ok.
but there was no beating heart.
there was a tiny little place where the baby should be, but no baby or heartbeat.
so now, i process something totally different. something i was in shock over and hadn't even fallen in love with was gone that fast? jeff was silent.
he told me not to stress, it was in god's hands. yes, i was aware of that.
we were told to wait a week and come back, they would try again for the small chance that maybe it just didn't show up. the ultrasound tech was not very encouraged, she seemed sure that we would have seen something.
wait a week. go to work. go to school. raise my children. don't speak of this to anyone for fear of what they may or may not say.
over the weekend there was lots of signs that the pregnancy might not last. the doctor had me come back in to see if my blood levels were dropping. they weren't, they were ok.
have hope, don't have hope.
the next week came and we went back to that ultrasound room. she put it on and again saw nothing.
she said, just wait and let me see again.
then there it was. a baby, a heartbeat. tiny and strong. my baby. my baby i didn't fall in love with until that moment.
and then maggie puked all over the ultrasound room and her daddy. (perfect timing for a little tummy bug to make its presence known)
again, in our fashion excitement and drama.

so yes friends and family, that is my story, my news. it has been stressful, sad, and ultimately happy. we are ready for this and know that it will only add more fun and excitement to our already over flowing cups.

you can't take her anywhere take 2. or a hundred.

2010-12-15T14:30:00.006-06:00

went to wal-mart today to pick up a few last minute things for christmas. i had maggie with me. we were waiting in the check out line when the very elderly checker came to our line. he was getting ready to open up the register next to us and said "i can help you over here." he began very very slowly shuffling over. he is probably 80 years old if i were to guess, very tall and very frail.
maggie got really excited and started jumping up and down. she chased him down and looked at him and said "mommy look - a real LIVE zombie!" she followed him into his lane and proceeds to yell "mommy im not kidding, its a real zombie, look look!"
i suppose in her eyes his slow shuffling with his arms held out for balance, his pale skin and thing frame might of appeared a little like a zombie.
i didn't know what to do but put my head down and beg her not to talk anymore.

christmas time is coming...

2010-12-12T20:33:00.004-06:00

we have driven through christmas in the park, been to a christmas cantata and spent the day at my work christmas party today.
jeff and i have shopped our hearts out, hung the garland, trimmed the tree and there is even snow outside.
i am lucky enough to have three of my four still believing in santa this year. molly used her engineering mind to figure out that is just not a possibility, but is playing it up well for the others. she was even kind enough to go see santa with them today, but when he asked what she wanted she didn't really have an answer.
ashton was nervous and got really into it. he wanted legos, kung zhu zhu pets and a new night lite. maggie bounded onto santa's lap and let him know she only wanted a new baby this year. easy. i couldn't hear carson, but think he said zhu zhu pets also. fine.
the best part of the day was when we were walking out. ashton grabbed my hand and said mama i love you. i said i love you too buddy. he said this was really fun.
yep ashton, it was. he says - do you know what was the most fun thing about it?
what buddy? we got to pick just what we wanted.
i know that doesn't really mean anything to most people, but it tore me up. i just can't believe he thought that was such a big thing, picking his soda, picking his craft, his snack, his book. maybe he doesn't get a say in things very often, just goes with the flow of what the older ones want or the really loud one wants.
he sure will now.

thanksgiving

2010-11-24T20:58:00.003-06:00

thanksgiving. time to give thanks. i give thanks for my dad still being here this year. i love that god has given him another shot, more time, more health, more life to live with his family. i love that i just spent thanksgiving with my parents, eating the foods i grew up on, saying the prayers that comfort me. looking across the table and seeing my four beautiful children, parents and husband. its a tradition i hope my children take to heart and continue forever.
we will go to my husband's family tomorrow and eat the foods he grew up on, see the cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents that make his holidays so special.
i have family in town. i have two brothers that live within 30 minutes of me and one that is a couple hours away, but i won't share turkey with them this year. why? i don't know. i just think family is a funny thing. family describes those people who would lay their life down for you without hesitation. those that through squabble, pride, love and laughs you would do anything for. that is my family. that is my brothers. why aren't we together? i don't know. we say things like, we are busy, gotta work, tired, etc... i don't know.
i know that i love them. i respect them. i admire them. love their families.
want to be close to them. my brother closest to me in age has been my hero my whole lifetime. i have always had him on the highest pedestal. to me, he will always be the strongest, smartest, most fun person i know.
i don't believe any of them read my blog, or even know i have one. these things i say, i don't say to them. there are reasons we don't see each other. reasons that mean nothing in the grand picture of life.
i ran a half marathon this week and saw a man younger than all three of my brothers lying in the grass, half naked, blue and getting compressions. no heart beat. his family had to be informed of this news while waiting with signs for their husband/father to cross the finish line. he made it to mile 12. it just put things in perspective.
i give thanks that i have a big loving family. i pray that i have them a little closer next thanksgiving.

running

2010-11-07T20:30:00.003-06:00

two weeks until my half marathon. im not embarrassed to admit that i am pretty proud of myself for coming so far. i remember when i started running a couple years ago, i headed out of my cul de sac and felt my chest tighten in the first block. my pants were tight and my fat roll was hanging over them. i could barely make it one song without feeling like my heart was exploding. i was mortified every time a car drove by me, hoping they weren't shaking their head in pity. then i could run two songs, and three. then i could run a mile. a few months later i ran three miles for the first time. i wasn't until a couple of months ago that i could run four. then my friend talked me into training for the half marathon in november. i laughed. then i started. i ran five, then six, seven, eight, nine and today - ten. ten miles in just under two hours. im so amazed at what your body can do, when your mind is set to it. i now know that the half will be tough, but totally something this girl can do.
its one thing i do every day, i stick to it, even when i dont want to. my ipod told me the other day i just crossed the 750 mile mark. i ran 750 miles in the past two years. i have lost about 10 lbs, not a lot, but enough to put me where i am happy, healthy and no longer stressing over everything that goes into my mouth. i think it has been since junior high since i felt that way.
i haven't registered for the race yet, because even up until today, i wasn't sure if it was something i could do. now im sure, and im off to register.

conversation.

2010-10-21T20:25:00.003-05:00

on the way home from the pumpkin patch, this was a conversation overheard from the back seat.
ashton "mommy, maggie is eating her boogers."
maggie "no i isn't."
ashton "yes you are. that's so gross maggie."
maggie "mmmm, mmmmm MMMMMM. i just had the most delicious one ashton."
ashton "MAGGIE stop it."
maggie "hey ashton, im going to the booger patch to pick you a good one."
ashton "maggie if you do that in kindergarten they are going to make fun of you."
maggie "what's funobyou?"
ashton "NO make fun of YOU."
maggie "whats funobyou?"
ashton "no maggie, its FUN OF YOU. never mind."
maggie "hey buddy did you want me to pick you a good one? i got a delicious one from the booger patch."

me "maggie that is not very lady like, please don't talk like that."
maggie "not berry what mom?"
me "lady like."
maggie "well im not a lady, im just a wittle girl mom."

can i get an AMEN?

2010-10-03T19:48:00.002-05:00

those of you who know me will get a kick out of this. if you know me, you are aware of the fact that i have a problem with inappropriate laughter when i am tired. it just bubbles over me and i can't stop. nothing will stop. i laugh until i am full out crying, head down, tears rolling, just can't control it. the weirdest things will set it off. it most often happens at 3 or 4 in the morning, while at work.
today, it happened at church. i chose to stay up for the service after working all night.
in the middle of worship sitting next to my unsuspecting husband, i got overcome with the giggles. i guess he has never seen me do it before.
we were singing "our god is greater, our god is stronger" and so on. then it happened.
this little old lady behind us starts to sing. i mean she really sang it out. she had this vibrato that i couldn't replicate if i tried, almost like a cartoon character. she was really loud. the first note and i started to giggle. then she kept going, and so did i. jeff just shook his head and held my arm. he may of said something about this not being junior high, but i couldn't hear over my giggling and her singing.
then the sermon started. it was quiet and i had composed myself.
the pastor said a couple of things and she belts out - "AMEN. MMMHMMM." again, really loud and in that crazy voice. every ten to twenty seconds she repeated herself. it was just too much. i prayed, i thought about other things. i tucked my head in my shirt and covered my face with my hair. and then she would say it again. "MMMMHHHHMMMM, AMEN" oh please. please stop. i couldn't even leave because we were blocked in.
then he was telling a story and he says, i told you last week about the tree falling on my head, and she interrupts and says "OH YES YOU DID. MMMHHHMMM. AMEN."
in my defense, i noticed another couple smiling in front of us, and the little boy directly in front of me turned around once. im not sure if it was to see me or the lady, we were both probably causing a stir.
better luck next week.

opposites

2010-09-21T17:56:00.002-05:00

total opposites.

what is new

2010-09-06T11:15:00.004-05:00

what is new in my world as of today. i have started grad school, began teaching nursing clinicals two days a week, started training for a half marathon and adopted two giant puppies in addition to my current full time job at the hospital!
i think i might be a touch crazy, but i am already three weeks in and seem to be handling it okay.

the dogs, which came already named penny and coco, are terrible and wonderful all at once. they have chewed up a shoe, my kindle case, carson's football mouthpiece, various barbies and toys, and this morning's paper. i want to hate them, but as i am typing maggie is on top of penny kissing her and penny is hugging her with both paws... they kind of just fit right in from day one.

my 1/2 marathon is in november and then i am hopefully going to just back off a little on the working out. i would really like to be one of those happy ladies who just go for a simple walk once a day and call it good. i hope my aging metabolism likes that idea too.

the grad school thing was a no brainer. its one class a week for 15 months, totally paid for by my hospital. i am hoping someday this will open doors for me to work something with more normal hours in the future.

off to walk these mutts.

i scream you scream

2010-08-18T20:22:00.014-05:00

for his family birthday, carson chose to go to this little ice cream shop downtown and attempt the banana split challenge. it is made with eight large scoops of ice cream, two bananas and mounds of candy, syrup, fruit and whipped cream. the rule is you have to finish it alone in 15 minutes.

he started strong.

got very cold and had the shivers.

moved outside and warmed up, 5 minutes left.

finished with 1/2 scoop left and the bananas.

gagged, paused and decided he was done.

i was in shock at the amount of sugar that boy put away. he had to sit for a minute, but then we went to a playground and he ran and ran, like nothing had happened. amazing.

it did tucker maggie out - this is a glimpse at how sugary sweet she was on the way home.

Happy Birthday Carson!

2010-08-14T07:43:00.004-05:00

So this year Carson invited ALL his BFF's to his birthday party.
I got called into work.
Jeff ran the party.
This is a snippet of the night.

Top 11 because they couldn't fit in 10 reasons I am happy to turn 36

2010-07-22T22:34:00.007-05:00

top eleven list about turning 36

11. It really beats the alternative.

10. If I want to stay up late watching dvr'd TV and eating the whole bowl of popcorn, I can. I can even eat ice cream right out of the carton - the ice cream i picked out at the store just because it sounded good.

9. I have friends that I have chosen. Not friends I have to have, because that is all that happens to be in your class, town, college, etc. Friends that I choose to share my life with, because they make my life better, richer and so much more fun. Friends that keep me sane in my most insane moments. Thank you all far and near.

8. I have a real career. I don't work at sonic anymore, billy's chili and bar bar, zios, or nursing homes. I get to see tragedies, miracles, and recenter what is really important every time I go to work.

7. I am able to wake up every morning and drink hot expensive coffee with real cream and read the paper from front to back. Mmmmm can't wait to do it all again tomorrow.

6. I live in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood with really nice people all around me. I love to have so many fun kids my children can play with, a park down the street, a beautiful walking trail, and a swimming pool. Awesome.

5. I am old enough to appreciate all that I have. I don't complain that my car is old, I am too fat, too tired, too broke. I am truly grateful for what is surrounding me - plenty of not so great alternatives out there.

4. I have two parents, aunts, uncles and three brothers nearby. I see none of these people enough, but I am so lucky that I get another year to change that.

3. I am young enough to be able to run a 5K, do P90X, and insanity and not have aching hips yet.

2. I have had the gift of cradling four unique little newborns in my arms - knowing that I was a part of creating these little blessings. They are my happiness, fear, anxiety, beauty, amazement and worry all rolled into perfect little packages. I love having something so important to me I would die for them without blinking an eye.

1. I live with the one adult I choose to be with forever. He makes me feel every single day that I am the most beautiful, smart and funny person he has ever known - even when I am tired, grumpy - and clearly not the least bit pretty. I have every confidence that he will continue to make me feel that way when I am sitting in my wheelchair, wearing a depends with eyebrows drawn on and bright red lipstick - probably with part of my creamed peas still on my bib.

Look forward to that vision babe, we are another year closer.

people never stop surprising me...

2010-07-22T13:21:00.002-05:00

we went for a night swim at the neighborhood pool last night. jeff was finishing up his workout, so i ran up with kids. they are all getting very manageable now, so no fears in taking them alone anymore.
while there, this cute little girl came up with a lady who was wearing jeans and high heels. i despise people who go to the pool with small children, and they are not in swimsuits. they have no intention of getting in the water with their little one, its just cruddy.
she then approaches me and says "can i borrow your cell phone, i forgot her life jacket and she totally can't swim, so i wanted my sister to run it up here."
i don't have my cell phone, sorry.
she then tries to get her child out of the pool, but the little girl starts crying and saying she doesnt want to leave.
so this really smart lady says to her, you stay right here, dont get in the water, and i will be right back.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? did i hear that correctly? oh yes, i did. this gal leaves her child at the pool, walks back home to get the jacket.
i ask the little girl how old she is.
"im four years old and my aunt brought me to the pool. i promised her i wouldn't let any stranger steal me."
awesome.
she only fell under water twice when the aunt was gone, but we were close by and helped her back up.
not to bad for a 4 year old, who can't swim, left alone in a pool for 20 minutes.
this is why there are horrid stories on the news.

a classic

2010-07-19T22:04:00.003-05:00

responsibility

2010-07-16T00:57:00.006-05:00

dont you love it when you have somebody else's kid over to your house - and they are obnoxious - and your spouse and you can talk about what great parents you are, i mean, compared to them? i mean, you are both like, our kids are so sweet and loving compared to so and so, our kids would never act that way... and on and on, as your heads swell like hot air balloons.

what i hate - is when somebody else's kids come over and might(gulp)be more responsible little beings than your kids. crap - right when you thought you were really on your game, some other rock star parent has to one up ya.

my children's new little friends totally did that to me. these kids are pretty much the love and logic text book perfect children. im sure they make a mistake here or there, but it certainly has not been here.

so - i hating to be behind the game, had to get serious. yes i do know that the most important thing is to love your children and turn them into loving adults. i feel pretty strongly that it involves learning how to function first in your home, second in society.

totally stealing my friend's system - we are starting lists for the day.

each day of the week they wake up to a new list of what needs to be done before bed.
i am still tweaking it - so this may change a little - but i think im (she) is on to something.

example (this was today's):

Thursday

~ clean your bathrooms. clean the mirror first, then counter, sink and finally toilet. empty trash if it needs it. put towels into the laundry.
~ clean your rooms. make your beds, organize toys, pick up any clothes and straighten any extra items.
~ do something loving for one of your siblings
~ help clean up the kitchen after every meal. put dishes in dishwasher, wipe down counters and table, rinse out sink.
~ pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them

each day, they change and you get different areas cleaned, including vaccumming!

this is not child labor, right? i will let you know how it sticks.

you can't take her anywhere

2010-06-26T04:34:00.002-05:00

that is what my husband said about my sweet little maggie tonight. they had their last night of vacation bible school (in which molly won the prize for knowing all of her bible verses perfectly - go molly) and there was a little service for the families at the end.
jeff was sitting with the kids and in front of them there was an extremely heavy set gal with some low rider pants on. her backside was showing pretty well.
they sang their songs and then bowed their heads for prayer. it was really quiet and every head was bowed, every eye closed. except for maggies! her eyes were on the lady in front of them.
she then said loudly "somebodies booty stinks weely bad daddy."
lots of giggles and more silence for the prayer.
ashton says "maggie, we dont say that."
maggie yells "yes we do ashton, mama says it all the time."
lots of giggling from the people around them.
"booty booty booty booty booty booty"

sorry i missed it.

3 year check up

2010-06-22T21:10:00.009-05:00

well it was the much anticipated three year check up for miss mags. she weighed in at 42 lbs, 41 inches tall. she is a giant, the biggest of all four by age three, even carson who i remember thinking was huge. dr. yannette said, just to let you know, she is about the average size of an almost five year old. great.
he loved her even though when asked how old she was she replied with "oh doctor netty, i hab no idea!"
he even believed me over her when he asked if she always wore her helmet while on her bike and she said "oh i don't eben hab a helmet, i weely don't."
while trying to see if she would answer correctly, he asked her what she did when she was hungry. she replied "i just dwink milk. i don't eben eat food."
he said, well it must be a whole lot of milk maggie, she said "yes, it is."

she had a play date tonight with her friend gracyn - who is two, but not even half her size, it was a hoot to watch them try to play together.

but as usual, she found a way to make it work.

where do little boy's come from?

2010-05-25T20:39:00.003-05:00

conversation on the way home from gymnastics tonight.
molly - mom, i understand that females carry the X chromosome and males carry the X or Y. to have a baby, how does the male chromosome get into the female?

me- uhhh... well, it is one of God's miracles honey.

molly- well, then i think every baby would be a girl, because only the mother is the one who is making it, there isn't any real way that the husband's DNA could mix with the mother's.

me- ummm (thinking to self, im not smart enough to answer this correctly)
well, when daddy and i kiss, we exchange DNA molly.

molly- oh, ok. so if i married somebody, but agreed to never ever touch them, i could just have girls?

me- i guess so molly, but boys really are easier.

through the glass

2010-04-23T00:17:00.002-05:00

so its been a little bit of a rough week with our youngest boy. he got frustrated outside and hit the neighbor girl on the hand with a metal shovel. he then got in very big trouble by both parents, and got his video games taken away for the week.
it was total sadness for the boy on every level.
it is very humbling to think you have a good kid on the block, and then discover he is whacking little girls with garden tools.
we talked about it and realized maybe its not all ashton's fault, but our fault also.
as far as kids go, he is very easy. he entertains himself, he gets his own snacks, and rarely asks for anything. my other children are high maintenance in that regard. they want you to read to them, talk to them, listen to their stories, fix their snacks, take them places, just be near them and attend to them - a lot. he doesn't.
so i guess, we don't. we are busy every minute of the day, so if he is happy, we let him be. he plays a lot of wii, computer and legos. he plays outside on his own, he gets poptarts and water when he is hungry.
i really started feeling guilty about this after he whopped the little girl's hand.
i really got on to him, and he cried really hard.
it made me think about all the time he spends doing things my other kids didn't at his age. maybe he wouldn't of lost his cool if i spent more time interacting with him.
i took him and maggie to gymnastics this week, like i always do. its a parent/tot class, so i go into the gym with her and hop around, sing, and be silly - just her and i. he sits in the waiting room and plays legos.
its a 45 minute class, no big deal.
this week mr. chad (the teacher)got out the parachute. we were sitting around it singing wheels on the bus when i looked up at the viewing window.
through the glass i see ashton just staring out at us. just standing perfectly still, not sad, not happy, just watching. just watching his mama play with his little sister. watching and waiting for us to be done. he isn't in any activites, he doesn't get to go to a class and play parachute with his mama. i can't even type this without getting a physical pain in my stomach.
live and learn i guess.
try harder.
do better.
don't ever look up and see a sweet face watching you through the glass again.

the virgin mary

2010-04-17T05:29:00.002-05:00

i was looking at old pictures on the computer with maggie today. we ran across some of me when i was very large and pregnant with little maggie. i said maggie - that is you in my tummy, you lived in there before you were born. she said, "i was in dare under your shirt?" and i said yes, inside my tummy until you were ready to come out, see how big it was? she kind of looked down at her own protruding belly and that was that.
we really didn't talk about it anymore, just kept looking at pictures.
later that day, my mom and dad (against their better judgement) let her spend the night at their house for the first time.
i got a phone call from my mom around 5AM wanting to tell me a funny story about the evening.
maggie approached my mom and patted her big round belly.
she said "gwandma, i hab a baby in my belly."
my mom says, "oh you do?"
maggie says "yes, he's been in dare a long time and im sabing him in dare."
my mom says, "well what is his name?"
maggie says "well gwandma, his name is jesus."

uncomfortable moments

2010-04-09T23:19:00.002-05:00

I took miss maggie with me to home depot today. i needed to purchase the ceiling fan, light fixture and mirror for the downstairs bathroom and bedroom.
we made our selections and i was walking through the nearly empty store when a lady who worked there walked in front of us. she was kind of husky and had a boyish looking haircut. they all wear those little vests and slacks, so i guess could be interpreted as male or female clothing.
my daughter thinking she had really figured something out for this gal starts yelling at her.
"haaaaay, you are a booooy!! i am a giwl, and you are a boy. i a giwl, you a boy."
she just kept it up, and i had no idea what to do. finally a dad and son come around the corner and hallelujah i say "yes maggie, he is a boy, he is a daddy, and that is his little boy."
close call.
once again.

no shirt no shoes no service

2010-04-02T20:48:00.003-05:00

it has been another crazy week around our household. we are finishing our basement, getting ready for easter, and trying to fit in kids activities around it all.
i was taking ashton to preschool tuesday, along with maggie and the dog so that the workers would not have to step over them.
i loaded them all up in the van with 8 minutes to get there on time.
we pull in right at 9am and i am trying to keep the puppy in the van, haul maggie out of her seat and get ashton in the school.
he hops to the van door and says to me
"mommy, did you remember my shoes?"
i look down at his socked feet and respond
"well, no buddy i didn't. who's job is it to remember your shoes?"
he just stared at me.
i thought about this.
isn't this one of those moments where you are defined as a helicopter parent or a love and logic parent? i mean, i felt bad making him walk in there with no shoes, and i felt plenty stupid myself. but its a chance to teach a lesson, right?
love and logic it was, since i had no time to run home anyhow.
i walked my very embarassed boy into his classroom and explained to his teacher, the directer and the handful of nosy parents who had gathered around my explanation.
"i told him the van is leaving in five minutes, get ready to go, this was his idea of being ready, so that is how he is coming to school."
his teacher asked me how i thought this would go over.
"im not sure, but i betcha he won't forget again."

so far, he has not.

sweet moments

2010-03-24T15:41:00.003-05:00

maggie says to the construction worker coming up from the basement, covered in dry wall dust "i weely like your shirt."
he says, "thanks"
she says, "hold still i need to take your picture." she then holds up her princess phone and pretends to shoot pics of him.
jeff pours her a chocolate milk and the syrup is almost gone, so it makes a funny noise when he squirts it out.
maggie goes back to the worker and says "hey worker, i drinking chocolate toots."
he says "what was that?"
she says, "i said i drinking chocolate toots."
lovely.

meet me in st. louis

2010-03-19T14:51:00.016-05:00

spring break 10 the family ventured to st. louis. jeff being the totally adventurous one decided to ride the amtrak from kc to st. louis with the four children and i drove alone in blissful peace. (in all honestly i was actually lonely) i guess the train ride wasn't all it was cracked up to be, exposing our children to bums, alcoholics and lots of bare stinky feet. apparantly one stinky guy really liked maggie and was trying to make conversation with them, jeff headed him off quite quickly. good thing it was just a five hour drive!
i picked them up from the train station and off we went, exploring the city.
we tried the "free" science center, which after 12 dollars in parking, you go in and realize anything fun your children might want to do, costs a good chunk of change. we were tired and hungry, so i might be unfair in judging it harshly, but over all it was dirty and not so much fun.
being the totally organized traveler i am, i had mapquested routes to every destination, from the planned place we would be at to our new destination. the first nights dinner was to be at the famous crown candy kitchen, as seen on "man vs. food milkshake competition". carson loves that show and was ready for a milkshake challenge.
unfortunately my clever directions landed us right in the middle of the hood.
no kidding, there were "popping" noises, young males running across the street and hiding in between parked cars and houses. it took a good seven blocks for us to wind our way out of that mess.

real culture children. duck your heads and don't look up.
we aborted the dinner and drove to the burbs of kirkwood instead.
pizza and shopping, much safer.

the next day we went to the zoo - which was nicer than ours, but not quite omaha.
the highlight here were the "zebras without stripes" better known as:

seriously?

after a big expensive lunch on the historic hill, we decided this family should just go find a target, buy food and have a picnic for dinner. funny how the simplest of things can be the most fun. we bought them dollar jump ropes and bubbles and headed back to our hotel where we could simply walk over to the arch. we layed out a blanket and feasted on peanut butter sandwiches, fruit, trail mix, pretzels and easter candy under the arch. delicious, fun and low stress.
this will probably be our favorite memory of the trip. oh - i forgot to mention while dining at the old italian place carson set off the
alarms by trying to exit the wrong door. that got some old italian men moving away from their plates and to us pretty quickly.

the last day was spent at the magic house in kirkwood. way fun, affordable and they are already asking when they can go back. maggie almost caused a little scuffle by telling a little boy in the make believe pizza shop to get away from her pizza, its not for babies and he cant touch it. his mama didnt appreciate her directness.
i think it is important that girls learn how to shoot it straight.

low points - the train, the hood, pricey meals and deceptive "free" activities.
high points - picnic under the arch, magic house, memories made in a new city together.

dental trouble

2010-03-10T13:44:00.002-06:00

so molly and i had our dentist appointments yesterday. i thought it would be clever to take maggie along so she could start getting used to the dentist chair and what happens there.
dr. george is about 15 minutes away. about 14 minutes into the car ride, maggie falls asleep. its 4pm. she isn't really allowed to nap that late, bc that means there will be a party at our house until around, oh say midnight.
i pulled in, got her out and carried her in with molly by my side. she fell back asleep on my shoulder. i let molly go first while i held mags, thinking 10 minutes should do her ok.
molly's teeth were lovely, she was done and it was my turn. maggie was still snoozing on my shoulder. i tried to gently lay her down on a blanket they got for me.
well, gently doesn't happen when your 6 feet tall and your child is 42 lbs. i lugged her on the ground, surely this would wake her. nope. she fell asleep, flat on her back in the middle of our little cubicle.
this rotten child won't sleep at home on my pillow top mattress with fleece blankets and pillows. now she decides to sleep on tile floor in a brightly lit dental office?
give me a break.
i got in the chair, let the tech start cleaning my teeth and told molly to start gently waking her. kindly rub her leg and talk to her please.
so molly, being the lovely child she is, rubs maggie's leg and asks her if she would like one of her prizes.
im locked in the chair with drool coming out of my mouth and a bib on.
maggie springs awake and starts kicking the very thin wall, still on her back, and begins screaming. "NOOOOOO MOLLLY I DONT WANT YOUR TREATS. NOOOO NOOO NOOO NOOO..."
over and over, loud as she could.
everyone in the office, including dr. george comes running to our stall.
this freaks her out more, and she starts flailing about on the floor like a big carp washed up on the bank. screaming, hitting, kicking.
i just keep laying there while she polishes my teeth. i try to say something like
its ooaaakkayamaaaii. but just gibberish comes out.

dr. george just said, well, looks like she is not going to be like molly, huh?

big family

2010-02-26T01:15:00.004-06:00

i love this article! i hope my dear friend (who has a big family and has had a rough month) reads it and smiles.
(article originally written by matthew archibold and posted on my charming kids blog)

Why big families are easier:

Patience. I never have to teach patience. My children know that I can’t drop everything for them if I have a baby in my arms.

Work Ethic. My children have learned to work because there are always chores to do in a small house packed with little messy lunatics. And they all learn quickly that sometimes they have to clean up a mess even though they didn’t make it.

Humility. My children have learned it’s not always their turn. They’ve accepted they can’t always get their way because other people have to get their way sometimes. They’ve learned that some children are better at certain things than they are.

Foreign language skills. You can learn a lot of Spanish by watching ten years of Dora the Explorer that you just can’t pick up in two. And now with the Diego spin off I’m practically fluent.

Laughter. The children have learned to laugh at the insane non sequiturs of younger siblings. They’ve learned that laughing just feels better when seven people are doing it along with you.

Competition. Do I really need to go into this? Everything is a competition in big families. The children compete over who reads faster, who drinks their milk faster, who gets to the bathroom first…etc. Everything is a competition and they’re all keeping score.

Balance. The floor of the front room of my home is a minefield of toys and childhood paraphernalia. Just walking through the room requires great skill and balance. I’m absolutely convinced my two year old will be a favorite for Gold on the balance beam in the 2016 Olympics. (She might have to lay off the cookies a little but I’ll deal with that later.)

Life isn’t fair. Sometimes you just give it to the baby because you want a little quiet. Not all the time. But sometimes.

Just say “No.” Being able to say “no” may be the most undervalued skill in this world. The need to be liked is pervasive. The need to be cool even more so. Having brothers and sisters teaches children to say “no” about 143 times a day. It’s a good skill.

Praying. They learn that nothing beats praying together as a family.

Nature/Nurture. Having many children has taught me that nature has a lot more to do with who my kids are than nurture. This is helpful, especially when your children misbehave you don’t have to feel bad about it. Just say “Stupid nature!!!” and blame your spouse’s genes.

Namecalling. You can occasionally call your child by the wrong name and still not be considered a terrible parent. They know who you mean just from your tone. Sometimes if you need something done you can call the wrong name and someone will still show up. That helps.

Spying. My children have learned that they can’t get away with anything. I have spies who look a lot like them who are willing to drop the dime on them for anything. Even at school I’ve got a child in just about every grade. If they do something I’ll hear. That keeps them nervous. And I like keeping my kids a little nervous.

Friendship. The children have many friends. They’ve got girly friends, crying friends, fun loving friends, consoling friends, and crazy friends. And they all have the same last name. And they’ll be there forever for each other. No matter what.

Love. I think my children have learned to love because there are others around them to love and who love them. I honestly can think of no better way to teach children to love than siblings.

gymnastics

2010-02-24T18:15:00.002-06:00

maggie loves her "mastics" class. she goes wednesday mornings and gets to see her friends and cousin there. its a parent/tot class, so either jeff or i go with her and help her do her little moves.
this week i had worked, so jeff got to take her. he was helping her with forward rolls, and her teacher, mr. chad came over to assist them.
he kept telling her to put her nose to her knees and then he could help push her over into a roll.
she wasn't getting it, and finally she told him
"mr. chad, my belly is too big for dat."

yes indeed.

oatmeal

2010-02-10T03:13:00.002-06:00

do you know the 10 lb bags of quaker oats that costco sells? you probably don't even look at them, because only me and michelle duggar buy oatmeal in that quantity.
i think oats are healthy and they find their way into most of my baking.
i keep these large large bags of oats in my pantry, on the lower shelf with all the other giant containers of food.
funny thing about those oats - when you are in a hurry to leave for work - your two year old cherub might decide to grab the bag and shake it all over the kitchen floor.
now if it weren't my kitchen, my oats, my two year old, this would have been an awesome picture/video. it was like the christmas snowstorm in there. notice there are no pics.
i didn't find it that much of a photo-op at the time. kind of wish i would have, words just can't do it justice.
maggie looked at the kitchen, looked at me and took off running for the hills.
smart, smart little cherub.

good hygiene

2010-02-03T18:58:00.003-06:00

ashton and i went out grocery shopping today to get away from the sick little maggie for a bit.
(she has pneumonia and really isn't that friendly)
we hit costco to get our enormous size boxes of goldfish, milk, coffee and fruit, as always stopping to get a giant hotdog on the way out.
we had to run in walmart for a few things and while in line ashton has to go potty. the restroom was right in front of my checkout, so i said go ahead buddy, i will be right here.
he runs in and out in a flash.
did you wash your hands?
he darts back to the bathroom.
he comes skipping back to the line and says this.
"mommy, grown up people never wash their hands."
yes they do honey.
"no mommy, that guy right there went tinkle and then walked right out without washing."
this man was standing in front of us waiting for his wife and got pretty flushed.
"i mean, even when they know they are supposed to, they never wash them."
thanks for pointing that out buddy. germs are gross and you will always wash.
"yes mommy, until i am a grownup right?"

whats not super

2010-02-01T15:13:00.003-06:00

i can tell you what is not super. its not super to work 13 hour shifts, four night in a row in a crazy busy place.
it is also not super to get totally behind on your children's lives. example: molly has girl scout work that needs to be completed asap. permission slips that need to be turned in yesterday. rats.
it is also not super to roll out of bed after four hours sleep to a nice audible wheeze coming from your two year old.
it was super to have a fresh pot of strong coffee waiting for me....
it was super to have my husband frantically finished and PUTTING AWAY the laundry...
but back to the not super stuff.
she is wheezing, fevering and crackly on her right side. (the same side her pneumonia was on earlier this year)
not super that my hubby is off to school and i can't take her anywhere right now.
or that i have dinner to make... other children to take care of... homework to help with...
on the other hand, it is super that i have all those things i guess.
i just sure do not appreciate them as much when im exhausted.

reruns

2010-01-21T16:44:00.001-06:00

there seems to be nothing but reruns on around here...

desitin is bad

2010-01-15T17:44:00.003-06:00

and so is she.

bad.

bad.

bad.

(and tips on getting desitin out of carpet, stuffed animals, vacuum cleaners, and blankets
would be appreciated.)

thing i heard

2010-01-06T21:40:00.004-06:00

things i heard this week...

"mom, maggie is picking her nose and wiping her boogers on your scarf."

"get me milk." to which i respond, that is not the way to ask, could you try again, and bring me your cup please?
"i just way to busy mommy."

"lee's summit school district will be cancelled both tomorrow and friday due to inclement weather conditions." that one really got me, right in the heart. that was hard core lee's summit. hateful and hard core. let's please not ever say those words again, not in this house.

"your youngest just scribbled giant circles all over your couch with your sharpie."

"mom, maggie is feeding the puppy bacon, craisins, and chalk."

"can i _____________________"
you can fill in the blank, it is said about every two and a half minutes by various people.

"you da best mommy eber." i do still love that one.

"looks like we have everything we need to process your passports, they should arrive in about four weeks."
woo hoo - we are heading out on our first out of this country vacation. unfortunately, we did purchase passports for 1,2,3 and 4 also.

Christmas blessings

2009-12-29T21:14:00.005-06:00

it was an amazing christmas in this household once again.
we tried to get every memory possible into the week of christmas.

we made a gingerbread house

and gingerbread boys

we went to candlelight service*

we ate prime rib with homemade bread and all the fixings

we spent time with family

we played

we made santa cookies

we fed the reindeer**

we watched a movie and then curled up together in mama's room

we checked the santa radar and closed our eyes before he made it to missouri

we woke on christmas morning and had homemade cinnamon rolls

we opened presents and watched it snow

we soaked up the blessings that spilled over us

and finally

mama crashed with exhaustion!

*there may have been a not so magical moment when the pastor said "and they took the body"
maggie misunderstood and stood up and yelled for all in the service to hear "THEY CAN NOT TAKE MY POTTY!!! HAAAAY MISTER YOU GIB ME BACK MY POTTY!!!"

**yes that is my snowman face down in the snow... yes we fed the reindeer from the front porch, it was freezing and snowing outside!

the dinner email

2009-12-12T01:13:00.005-06:00

(this is a copy of an email we have been sharing for a couple of weeks - thought i would post it in case our other friends were interested in some easy, sometimes healthy, sometimes cheap,
most of the times yummy dinner ideas.
the point of this was to shave a lot of time off planning meals, making lots of trips to the store and fretting over dinner. its also meant to save money by only going to the store once and eating at home more)

here we go again.
last week allison and i didn't get around to meatloaf, so its making another appearance.
its a lot of food, so you may not have to make it all, just ideas if you would like...

baked ravioli
frozen cheese ravioli
jar spaghetti sauce
mozzarella cheese
(put ravioli in a casserole dish, cover with sauce and cheese, cover in foil - bake for about 30 minutes, uncover, cook until cheese is all bubbly)
serve with loaf italian bread and green salad

chicken pot pie
3 cups cook and cut up chicken
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can cream of celery soup
bag frozen mixed vegetables
add garlic salt, pepper as you wish
1-2 cans biscuits
(mix the first four ingredients in casserole dish, bake in oven for 15 minutes
at 375, then take out and top with biscuits and bake until brown)

taco soup
cooked hamburger (about 1-2lbs)
can diced tomatoes
can corn
can kidney beans
can black beans
can chick peas or other beans of your choice
1 packet taco seasoning
1 packet ranch seasoning
mix all together and cook either in crock pot for a few hours, or on the stove for about 30 minutes - 1hr.

meat loaf
same as before- make it how you like it
this time we are having it with new potatoes and green beans
allison's green beans
cut up about 4 slices bacon, fry, add chopped onion and cook until soft, add
a few cans green beans and several new potatoes cut into half or quarters
cover and cook for about an hour

home made chicken nuggets
cut up boneless skinless chicken breast into bite size pieces
coat with shake and bake, cook according to package directions
i eat them over salad (like a healthy fried chicken salad)
or serve with tator tots and a veggie for the kids

~we usually have a little something for dessert, such as some type of berries over
frozen yogurt, something somewhat healthy like that.

that's all for this week
i printed this and highlighted what i didn't have at home, then took that to the store as my shopping list. voila, no more grocery store for the week.
well, that's a lie, i did go back for ice cream one night, laundry soap another night
and paper towels a third night.
next week i will be better at this.

lunch lady

2009-12-02T20:26:00.002-06:00

a quick funny...
i had to work today for the college, but jeff promised carson he would go eat lunch with him
he had maggie and ashton with him, so they all headed up. most public outings with maggie are scary, because we never know what will fly out of that mouth next. today was no different.
they got in the lunch line with all the other first graders and teachers and she told the lunch lady, "i toot on your chicken nuggets"
well the little ones all started laughing at that and so she repeated herself and added in
"your fwench fwies taste like poop wady."
nice.
molly wants us to come eat with her tomorrow... im out.

thanks

2009-11-25T22:37:00.005-06:00

i love this time of year, the time that forces you to sit down and count your blessings. to stop complaining, checking out how green the grass is on the other side and inspecting your own.

i love the things you discover when you really think about how many blessings you are surrounded with.

of course im thankful for my family, my house, my health. the basics.

im also thankful for my jobs. the fact that i have two jobs to nitpick when so many people i know are struggling to find just one.

im thankful for my comfy couch which i love to fall into after a long day of craziness at work and or handling children. for my dvr to melt my mind into, lose myself into some noneducational programming.

im thankful for the shoes, backpacks and crayons which scatter my living room right this moment. for the fact that my children are still little enough to need those things, to be careless enough to forget to pick them up. how blessed to have a house full of chaos!

im thankful for my angelic girl, who covers me with love every day, who never forgets to thank me for making her lunch, for making dinner, for allowing her to help out.

im thankful for my handsome little boy who runs and plays so hard every day im sure he will collapse of exhaustion. im thankful for his incredible appetite and how he can drain a gallon of milk in just minutes.

im thankful for my funny little four year old. im thankful for the way he just pops out of nowhere with a hug and a kiss on my leg. how his giggles fill a room with sheer happiness.

im also thankful for my crazy, wild, terrible, beautiful two year old. im thankful for how she tells me "your eber mommy", meaning your the best mommy ever. im so thankful that her little hands and legs are still chubby and babylike, that she still has a hint of baby left in her.

im thankful for my husband, for his crazy daily patience with me. for his help with the kids and the house, his forever rose colored glasses when he looks at me.

im thankful for my friends. they make me laugh and see myself from a different perspective, keeping me on my toes.

of course for my parents who raised me to be who i am. who instilled the values i have embedded in me and who have made me who i am.

so a million thank yous, to everyone who blesses my life each and every day.

choose your battles

2009-11-23T14:17:00.007-06:00

i have become pretty agreeable to whatever my children want to wear on any given day.

if i don't have to dress them, and i choose not to fight with them, that is several minutes i have saved every day.

this was maggie's wardrobe necessity today.

it works on the swings.

it works for playing legos.

and finally it works while reading dora.

it also works in the grocery store and target too.

fooled me once... fooled me twice

2009-11-09T19:59:00.006-06:00

ok, so i have learned my lesson. no more working out while maggie is free in the house. she is a beautiful, destructive trouble magnet.

have you ever tried to get two full tubes of lip gloss off hard wood floors? it doesn't happen. i have tried everything, and my bathroom floor is a slick, shiny, vanilla pomegranate scented mess.

i should of stopped, yes i should of. she gave me warning when she came out of the bathroom and said, "i squeezed your wip stuff weely hard mommy. see? i a princess."

she had lovely lip gloss all over her mouth, and the way i saw it, that was better than black paint, right?

distracted

2009-11-05T12:55:00.009-06:00

this is what happens when mama gets distracted with her work out and doesn't pay close attention to her 2 year old.

she said, "i just doing my homework mommy, my teacher says i hab to wook wike a kitty."

i am really proud of how kitty like she made herself. i am however a little teensy stressed about the fact i have to take her to the store like this.

trick or treat

2009-11-01T18:32:00.005-06:00

oh i was so excited to have off for halloween this year.

1. no working when you have to turn the clocks back and work an extra hour.
2. no changing the batteries and clocks on 57 clocks on the inpatient units.
3. no working when there was a full moon.
4. no working when the computer system was scheduled for downtime.
5. getting to see my cute little goblins dress up and free load candy!

the vampire, baby leopard, brave knight and sneaky ninja getting ready to go trick or treat.

why you should go help your first grader get dressed for the school parade. im not sure if he is a latin dancer or a ninja, but something was definitely not right.

(yes that is bare chest hanging out of his backwards costume, and yes i worked the night before, was sound asleep in bed while he was parading around school like this.)

rats.

2009-10-31T23:31:00.003-05:00

rats. i didn't think 7 year old boys could be so heart broken over winning or losing.

when carson's team lost their final playoff game by a touchdown, i assumed when he ran off the field to me crying he was hurt!! hurt was right but it was his poor little heart, not his arm which had just been face masked.

he was truly broken hearted about losing the game, real tears and real heart ache over not making the championship.

good thing he had trick or treating to look forward to in just a few hours...

touchdown!

2009-10-10T17:28:00.003-05:00

who would of thought i would turn into one of those crazy sideline mom's - screaming and jumping like a loon. how can you help it when your little boy is running in the touchdown on the last play of the game?

tough guy.

tough guy making sure his mom watched him run in the td.

Joy

2009-10-09T10:34:00.002-05:00

a little tidbit of joy on a rainy nasty cold day.

turn on a little MJ and let it loose.

your knees

2009-09-30T19:46:00.003-05:00

i heard this song that scared me the other day. the line in it went something like "i guess we're all just a phone call away from our knees"
isn't that the truth?
i mean, i see terrible things happen to families every day, i hear about things that make me shudder.
beautiful little three year old's come into urgent care with an upset tummy and leave with a giant terminal tumor in their belly. their family's lives are changed from that day forth. i get to sit back and read about it on their blog, pray for them, thank god it is not my family.
i pray to god every night. i pray for him to please keep my family safe. please keep my children, brother's, friends, and parents healthy. please please please don't let tragedy strike me.
and then i get scared, like, if he thinks im too afraid of it, please don't test me, please don't show me i can handle it.
we have had our share of sadness, my husband lost his baby sister and his father within 11 months of each other a few years ago. both were phone calls received while life was normal. one morning we were sleeping and his aunt called to say his dad had died. one night i was at work and he called me and simply said "angie died." i was getting ready to go to lunch, i was laughing with my friends. i still remember who was standing on my sides as i held the phone. i remember driving to the hospital in the middle of the night.
phone calls that bring you to your knees.
i got my own scare a couple of years ago when my dad nearly died on his birthday.
jeff and i had just gotten back from christmas shopping and my mom called. your father collapsed at the boat. he is at the hospital now, i don't know what is wrong with him. she was worried about thanksgiving dinner. and then another call on his next birthday (remember this).

but he lived! it was a miracle both times!! it was crazy and i still have my dad. my mom still has her husband. my babies still have their grandpa.
but then his doctor called my cell phone by mistake the other day after a routine cat scan.
my heart skipped a beat. i haven't thought much about it lately. he is here, i see him, he is fine.
but the doctor said his remaining aneurysms are growing. they are on his spine.
they will wait until he passes out again and then attempt to operate.

see what i mean? one phone call away from our knees.
so i preach it. i write about it every few months. love every minute. love every crazy, not exciting, not vacation, not christmas, not perfect moment minute. love the every day things.
love each other.
tell each other.

ok

2009-09-28T14:24:00.005-05:00

i am ok with not having any more children.
i am ok with not being pregnant again.
i am ok with not holding my newborn again for that first blessed time.

i am ok with what i have been given.
i am ok with my four healthy, active beautiful children.
i am ok with having a little bit of free time for myself.

i don't feel sad when i am writing this.
i feel relief.
i feel excitement.
i feel at peace with this decision.

i watched desperate housewives last night, where the couple finds out they are pregnant with twins, after they have four children.
she was sad, she said she didnt want anymore kids, she said she didn't love those babies growing inside of her.
would that be me? of course not. would that be my husband? of course not.
we are crazy like that, we love to raise babies and have the craziness in our house.
but we are definitely both ok to move forward to the next stage of life.

we are happy to have time for each other, refocus on us, and let our children see us a little more relaxed day to day.

so i am ok to stay myhouseof6.

my babies...

molly

carson

ashton

maggie

Chloe Belle

2009-09-21T14:20:00.003-05:00

so i do realize that my last post was about how crazy things were at our house, and how i was stressing a little. i decided (with much persuasion from my little 8 year old) that we needed a puppy to raise.
molly debated on her name for quite a while and after ruling out snowfall and cupcake, she chose chloe belle. this little poofball is a mix of a bichon and a poodle. she is crazy about the kids and follows them everywhere, much to maggie's delight.

puppy food, vet bills, potty training, chewing... but watching molly meet this little thing was priceless.

Just cute

2009-09-12T16:32:00.004-05:00

while there is always a lot happening around this house, it seems to be getting busier lately. i have started a new job as a clinical instructor while maintaining my current job, jeff is in full force with grad school and coaching, the kids are busy with activities and school work, its just daily craziness. i realize we are not the only household with crazy schedules and lives, but it does take some deep breathing at moments.

so, my youngest keeps me laughing and remembering what is important around here.

such as, mowing the lawn in your big girl pants and tutu.

or playing quarterback at her brother's game.

i don't care how stinkin bad she is, she is still pretty yummy.

Ashtonism part 3

2009-08-30T00:54:00.002-05:00

i woke up early today because it was my husband's birthday and i wanted to spend a little time with him and the family before returning to work. i made fried chicken, tator tots, fruit salad and jello cake for dinner. the kids were playing outside and i called them in to eat.
ashton hops up to the counter and looks at his plate.

i tell him, "its everything yummy, so please eat up buddy."
he says "oh yes, mommy, i remember this dinner to death."
i ask, "what about death buddy?"
he says, "its death mommy."
"ok buddy, just eat it, ok."
my husband chimes in and asks him what he means.
"i remember this to death daddy."
jeff says "oh, do you mean you love it to death?"
"yes daddy, i lub it to death." says the sweet funny little thing as he gobbled it up and asked for seconds.

a christmas carol

2009-08-25T13:58:00.004-05:00

my good friend "A" and i decided it would be a rockin good time to go downtown to union station and see the disney train. it was in town to promote the movie "a christmas carol" which is coming out this winter. it did sound like fun, a big disney production, meeting friends and just enjoying the little kids for a morning.
i got myself dressed, maggie and ashton ready and loaded up the van. after fighting for a parking spot, we finally squeezed into one and headed for the station. it was a long walk, but we saw a glimpse of the train and were ready to go. "A" was on her way with her little guy.
I made it through the crowd to the train which stated, 1 hr wait from this point. Oh goodie, its only 90 degrees out with full sun, and my daughter has long pants on and winter boots. don't ask, it is really important to her to be prepared i guess.
we stood in line and waited. i had drinks for them, so they downed them, ate their snacks, met up with A (who illegally hopped in line with us) and checked where we were in line. almost to the one hour point. goodie!! did i mention it was blazing hot and i had sweat running down my stomach, back and legs? poor maggie was tomato red, but not about to part with her boots.
a few tantrums later, we made it to the train entrance.

(i thought a picture of the line would help remind me not to make these type of decisions in the future)

had we brought the older kids, it would of been pretty cool, but understanding the costumes and the making of the movie did not entice my children. it was a good thought though. we tried to be good moms and point out the interesting facts about the original charles dickens version, but it was hard to talk over maggie's screaming. heat stroke apparently makes you crazy.

(ashton and maggie checking out the exhibits they could not read or understand)

(maggie, ashton and "E" using the one finger touch rule to the no touch exhibits)

i did get a text from my other friend "L", but doesn't that girl know that i do not know how to text back? i read "are you at the train, its an hour and a half wait" but i was happily in my van racing towards home - sorry "L" i hope you didn't wait, or if you did, i hope it was fun!

little quarterback

2009-08-22T16:13:00.005-05:00

My cute little Carson had his first "practice" game today. Maggie was puking on the sidelines - literally - but Carson was busy running in the touchdowns!

Party!

2009-08-16T21:32:00.007-05:00

carson had his seventh birthday party today. it was just a bunch of sweet little boys from the neighborhood and school, playing quietly and eating cake and ice cream. pleasant and peaceful.
see below - two minutes after drop off.

after gathering in the living room, we headed downstairs to make some "gloop". its a little creation of borax, water, white glue and food coloring. not messy at all with all those sweet little boys mixing so nice and neat. i of course did not end up taking the whole mess and throwing it in the trash can after they left the room. and when they asked for their "gloop" before going home, i did not lie to them and tell them it didn't turn out right after all.

we then came upstairs and using our manners sat down for some seven pound chocolate cake and ice cream.

after washing our hands and throwing away our trash, we opened up presents.

the highlight was a giant rocket from mom and dad which we promptly went outside to launch.
great fun was had by all.

until of course...

well its all fun until somebody puts the rocket on the roof.

its beginning to look a lot like fall

2009-08-13T21:00:00.007-05:00

its going, can you feel it? summer is slipping away.

no more lazy days in the sprinkler, staying up late and skipping baths.

football started a couple of weeks ago and its back to practices and ball games.

we met the teachers tonight, and its back to homework and packing lunches.

how cute is molly's teacher, posing AS IF molly was being scolded day one.
both teachers are MU fans which left us all quite relieved.
(they seem to be smart, kind and likable too.)

2009-08-08T21:27:00.002-05:00

something funny.
jeff had to take maggie to the dmv with him the other day. you know how that place is like walking into an elevator, nobody looks at anybody, nobody talks, just crabby people sitting in silence waiting for their number to be called. well, he pulled his number and sat down with maggie. they were waiting and then she decided to stand up and do a rendition of you are my sunshine for everyone. she altered the words to go "you are me organs, you are me organs, you make me happy when skies are great. you neber know organs, how much i lub you, so please dont take me organs away." i dont know where that came from, but it did lighten the mood at the dmv.

something not so funny.
sometimes it is safer to just have one parent in charge of the children. when there are two of us, i think he is watching them and he thinks i am watching them. in reality neither are.
here is a pointer for you. when your two year old says "i go find mommy" and you say ok, that means she is going to find mommy. if she thinks mommy is outside running, she will probably head on out there.
she may put on her own shoes and walk out the front door. she may then walk down the cul-de-sac and then down the street. a minivan may see her and stop, and the mom may get out and walk her back to your door. oops. lesson learned, lock the doors.

something funny.
ashtonism part 2.
i was in mama's tummy before i was born, right?
yes buddy.
i was born in my swimming trunks, right?
no bud.
yes, we all were born with our swimming trunks on, right?
no bud.
well we were all swimming before we were born.
cute. he took us literal when we told him he used to swim around in mom's belly.

bennett springs

2009-08-02T13:38:00.005-05:00

we met up with our family at bennett springs this past week for some relaxation and fishing.
since my cousin and i both have four small children, it wasn't really that relaxing, but it was lots of fun and there were no horrid incidents like this one.
i will say that every time i drove by, walked by or looked at that parking lot, i got physically ill and still can't fathom how a mother could do that.
anyhow - not this trip. no way no how would our little maggie get left behind anywhere.

so some pics of the happenings...

when you are too scared to sit at a table with eight small children, just put them all together and sit across the restaurant from them. they did surprisingly well without any pesky adults bossing them around.

oh it was somebody's birthday while we were there - i even got 35 candles on the cake and nearly burnt the cabin down.

when you can't fish, eat cheetos.

if you can fish, always fish next to grandpa.

coffee break

2009-07-21T08:54:00.004-05:00

5:58am- "i sleep witch you." maggie gets in bed and does more wiggling, less sleeping.
hubby gets her settled, doze back off into sweet sweet dreamland.
6:17am- "can we wake up now?" no ashton, its too early, go back to sleep.
6:40am - "is it time to wake up yet?" no carson, not really, can we sleep a little longer?
7am - "can i play wii?" no ashton you can't play wii this early, you have to eat and go to swim lessons. "do you want a hug and kiss?" yes of course i do my love "if you let me play wii i will give you a hug and kiss."

i roll out of bed and start down the stairs to get my coffee going.

7:15am- "can i have chocolate milk?" yes buddy, you can have milk.
enter carson, stage left.
"can i play wii?" no carson, you have swim lessons.
enter molly stage left.
"can i have waffles?" yes molly, im getting them.
"can i have muffin tops?" yes carson, im getting molly's waffles and ashton's chocolate milk, then i will get yours."
enter maggie, stage right.
"i want milk mommy, i want milk mommy, i want milk mommy." i get beaned in the leg with her sippy cup as she grabs onto me.
here is you milk ashton.
"can i have orange juice?" yep molly, im right on top of that.
"can i have chocolate milk?" yes car, in just a second.
"can i have more chocolate milk mommy?" just a second ashton.
"i want milk mommy" maggie, im trying to get it.
"i want to sit there carson - that's where i was sitting" says ashton.
push shove, ashton is now crying, maggie is crying (its a reflex to others crying) and carson is sitting at the counter waiting for his breakfast.
"i want dora mommy, dora and milk mommy."
yes maggie, im getting it.
"i don't like this cup." im sorry ashton, that is what is clean.
"hay dats my cup." maggie, he is using it right now, you are fine.
push, shove, ashton is screeching and maggie is crying.
"can i just pour my own orange juice mommy?" yes molly, be careful.
"are my muffin's ready yet?" carson, im getting them.

and it goes on like that. meanwhile i didn't get the coffee pot in there quite right and it is now spilling all over the floor and counter. rats.

i really need to get this smoothed out before school starts.

screen time

2009-07-14T15:33:00.005-05:00

signs your two year old may be watching too many cartoons:

you are walking through costco and see a lady trying out a recliner. your two year old starts yelling at her to "get outta my thinking chair - haaay dats my thinking chair lady!!!"

you are on your way to the grocery store and she asks you in all seriousness
"do we hab to go through crocodile lake and ober seashell bridge to get to the store?"

you are paying for your groceries and hand the lady your shopper card. she
yells out "oh man, that lady swiped our stuff."

i do try to be the good mom who always lets her children play outside, i do. but sometimes you just need a break from cleaning this stuff up everyday.

who loves ya

2009-07-12T03:06:00.007-05:00

things that go on while i am away at work.

they get to eat pizza and pretzels for dinner
they get to play outside in the dirt and sand as long as they want
they get to take an hour and a half bath with lots of bubbles and bath paints
they get to stay up until 10 oclock and watch tv
the baby gets to sleep on mama's pillow snuggled up next to her daddy and the big kids have slumber parties in each other's rooms

then i come home.

they have to eat veggies with their dinner
they get fussed at for getting in the sand and dirt
they take quick showers or a very hurried bath with not too many bubbles (we dont want any skin irritation, and don't even get me started on those darn bathtub crayons - did the creator of those ever see a tub after children have used them?)
they go to bed by 8:30 pm
the baby is put to sleep by dad and then moved to her bed and the big kids sleep in their beds

so it should come as no surprise to me that maggie woke up from her nap today wanting her daddy only. she looks at me and says "no mama i want daddy" and runs to him, hugging on him, kissing on him and flashing me dirty looks. he tried to reason with her and tell her to love on her mom, that she was making me sad, but she really would have nothing to do with me.

i scooped her up and rocked her and she arched her back and screamed for her daddy.

seriously baby? i hate to go here, but in addition to catching your puke in my bare hands, i carried you for nine months, my leg looks like i have elephantitis from the horrid varicose veins you caused me and i can no longer sleep all night because you and your siblings turned my bladder into a punching bag, requiring me to visit the restroom more than my grandpa.

how quickly they can turn on you.

i give her a womb to grow and thrive in, nourishment to live on, and more love than an army of angels could house, and she chooses the one who lets her eat dirt and scribble on my bathtub.

go figure!!

(editors note: please know, my husband does not really let my children eat dirt and he is a fantastic dad who can manage all four like a true rock star)

the bank

2009-07-03T13:24:00.003-05:00

i feel that when you are a parent it is the hard days that deposit money into the "parenting bank" i think when you just think you cant do it for another minute - but you do, thats when it really counts.
i think you get extra deposits added in for the sleepless nights, catching puke in your own hands... etc...

here are some ways i earned a few extra bucks this week.
~holding maggie down on the treatment room table while she was getting her blood drawn and cathed for a ua. even though i wanted to cry with her, i just kept singing to her, loving her through it.
~letting her puke bile on my shoulder three times the next morning
~not hauling off and whipping my son for running through the house in dirty cowboy boots. trying to remain calm and tell him that makes mommy very sad, to please remember to take his shoes off outside.
~holding ashton through his enormous tantrum last night, not losing my cool, but talking him through it, even when he was yelling he didnt like me anymore.

i may have lost a couple dollars when i did happen to
~whip the same little boy who ran through the house again in his dirty cowboy boots
~yell at that same boy when he stole his sisters fireworks, tripped his little brother and caused great chaos through an already tired house
~fed my children mcdonalds instead of cooking something more nourishing

as long as i keep breaking even, i will never go broke.

sunshine at bedtime

2009-06-29T21:57:00.004-05:00

instead of sleeping my little sunshine is up singing to me.

how do i get mad at that?

selling out

2009-06-14T03:12:00.002-05:00

we decided to put a few things out this year for the neighborhood garage sale.
i just wanted to make a little more room in the garage. i gathered up a changing table, three strollers, a baby dresser, exersaucer, and many more things of that variety. i did not want to mess with selling clothes or any other little thing that had to be organized on a table. only big things.

i love and hate having garage sales. i love chatting with the nice neighbors and people who peruse your things. i love making extra spending money and cleaning my house up a little. i hate dragging all of your stuff out to the driveway and back in to the garage. i hate the people who come and argue prices with you.

my youngest children really really hated the whole thing. both maggie and ashton begged me not to sell their things. mind you, these are things they haven't touched or probably even knew still existed. i guess it would bug me too if somebody started dragging out things i once loved
and essentially giving them away to strangers.

i sold this tiny little stroller which maggie's bottom didn't really even fit in. she never once rode in it, we only owned it for a few weeks. when she saw the mom push it back to her car, my 2 year old starts screaming at her, "NO NO NO - DAT MY STROWER. NO NO NO - GIVE IT BACK!!" she chased her all the way to her car door and tried to shove her booty in the stroller.
i just smiled and waved bye to the nice lady while maggie lay in the driveway screaming about her stroller and how much she wanted it back.

another lady came and loved all of my things. she loved them so much she wanted pretty much everything i had out. she bought my big fancy pink stroller, my cute little pink pack & play, my bassinet, and my changing table. my changing table that my dad bought when i had molly.
the same changing table that all four of my little newborns got their diapers changed on, got lotioned up on after baths, and had their cute little newborn things stored in.
she bought it all, didn't argue with me on prices and carried it off to her car.
the whole time i wanted to chase after her, to scream at her to give me back all of my stuff, that im not ready to get rid of it after all.

and then it was gone. the driveway was empty. yay we are done. hooray - no more clunky baby crap taking up space. i don't have to drag anything back into the garage!!

i hate garage sales. i really hate them.

more disneyworld

2009-06-07T20:10:00.012-05:00

the rest of the trip was amazing in a lot of ways. amazing in the sense of how much fun every day is in disney. amazing in the sense of how much work every day is in disney, and amazing in the sense of how tired you can be at the end of each day in disney.

outside the american idol experience i found these little idols

sweet little mouse

fun in the tiki fountains

birthday party at Ohana, we had cupcakes at every meal - it is so much fun to have your birthday in disneyworld.

making wishes with the fairy godmother

the most fun ever, mickey's backyard bbq, the kids got to dance all night long with the characters and eat all the ice cream their bellies could hold.

the biggest thing i learned in disney was that it is okay to not follow the tour books plans and to realize with four children you will move a little slower, not see everything, and take a few more breaks.

Bring on Survivor : Disney trip part 1

2009-06-05T16:12:00.005-05:00

After spending a week in Disney with my family, I feel like I could totally smoke Survivor. Bring it on, eating bugs, sleeping on the ground, withstanding the elements. Simple compared to what my husband and I accomplished this past week. First of all, just making it through airport security these days is a task. Get in line, take off your shoes, empty your pockets, walk this way, put that in the basket but not that, walk in a single file line, speed it up, dont touch that unless you want to lose a finger, move quickly, you get the picture. Add in four small children and it gets a little stressful. Then have a mom who decides to wear a sundress that day. They need to put you in a little glass box and frisk you - but they have to wait for a female guard to do it, so you wait, and wait, and wait while your children are running wild and your husband is wondering why you are in the box, but you can't talk to him because you are behind the box. Fun fun. Don't ever wear a loose fitting dress on the airplane, lord knows what you may be hiding under it.

But we made it on, and all was well. The flight went smoothly, except I get motion sickness on any sort of moving object (including planes), and the family in front of me began opening up bags of food. Not just snacks but 3 dozen chicken wings, biscuits, sausage, cheese, crackers, cookies and drinks. It is a 7 am flight people!!! The smell was killing me, but did not seem to bother my children.

We landed, got to our hotel (Pop Century) which was fine, nothing fancy, but lots of Disney theming and the kids loved it. We unpacked and headed straight to the Magic Kingdom.
One stroller, one being carried and two running along after us. I give them credit, the children were troopers everywhere we went. We messed around a little and then took the monorail over to the Contemporary for our dinner at Chef Mickey's. It was good food, lots of character interaction and in general pretty smooth. By this time, we had all been up since 4 am and were beat, so back to the hotel and to bed. Maggie got to sleep with daddy every night because he is the baby whisperer when it comes to sleeping. We were in bed by 10 pm, all still together and all still smiling at this point.

Ashtonism

2009-05-26T19:40:00.002-05:00

Ashton and I were driving to Target today to pick up some last minute stuff for our trip (tomorrow) and he was being super talkative.
He had lots to say and lots of insight on the things around him on this car ride.
Here is a snippet of our conversation.
"Mommy?"
"Yes buddy, what is it?"
"Rain is not strong enough to break my window."
"No buddy, it isn't."
"A tormato is strong enough."
"Yes, a tornado is strong enough to break a lot of things."
"God does not know how to make a tormato."
"Well, actually God knows how to make anything."
"But people who live on the ground do not know how to."
"You are right, people don't know how to make a tornado."
"People only know how to make pee in the bath tub, right mommy?"

Yummy.
His new four year old mind is so amazing.

the nest

2009-05-22T17:13:00.005-05:00

my second little one has graduated kindergarten and will be leaving my next for all day school next year. rats. no more carson running up the driveway at 11:34 after his little three hour day of school. its a strange feeling when your children start spending more time away from the home than you do during the week. you teach them to fly, and then you have to convince yourself it is ok to let them go and try out those wings.

another little mama will be watching her babies graduate and leave their nest soon in my neighborhood.

this is what my children found in their play set today. holy cow!!
my mom (the bird expert) tells me they are robins, which are nice birds and to just leave them be.
will do. by the way... i have never seen an ugly baby, but these do push the limit. i do hope they grow into those beaks a little.

Ashton's 4th birthday

2009-05-19T15:56:00.005-05:00

time flies ashton -

a day after maggie's party, we celebrated ashton's fourth birthday in the park with his gang.
i will take a park full of crazy happy silly little boys (and a few girls) any day over an eight year old girl's sleep over. any day. ashton was so grateful and kept telling me the whole time how much fun he was having and how he loved his wall-e cake. (i guess he didn't care that hy-vee made it and not his mama.

maggie's birthday

2009-05-18T07:37:00.004-05:00

we had our first of two parties this weekend. maggie is officially two, ashton is four, but we will celebrate his today at the park with friends.
maggie soaked up the attention from her family with a little tinkerbell theme. i thought tinkerbell is fitting for her, tiny, blond, sassy and cute. (ok, not so tiny)

and im not really ready to discuss the fact that i no longer have anyone in this house that counts their age by the month rather than the year.

at the park

2009-05-15T22:27:00.002-05:00

the other night some friends from work and i went out to a royals game.
to keep the kids busy while mama was away, my husband took them out for a picnic dinner in the park. so sweet of him. all was well until maggie approached a mom sitting on the bench. this mom had a drink in her hand, just sitting there watching her little girl go down the slide. maggie walks up to her, reaches for her drink, the mom moves it, maggie tries again, the mom moves it away from her.
maggie then reaches her little hand up and gives this mom a good squeeze right on her boob!
jeff goes over trying to find an appropriate apology for such behavior when he hears the same mom's little girl yell from the slide "mom - he keeps grabbing my booty!"
jeff looks up and yes, its ashton sitting behind the little girl.
he figured that was a good time to pack up and go.

growing

2009-05-09T10:33:00.007-05:00

This week we learned a little about growing things, and things growing up. My husband built me a garden and I let the kids help plant things they like in it. They are all excited to watch their little baby plants grow into foods they can "harvest" and enjoy.

In the process of filling with 1700 lbs of dirt.

It is perfect and I have only had to replant half of the plants so far, since Maggie wants to harvest her goodies a little early.

Another thing seems to be growing around here too. Jeff took the crib down for the final time in our family. It was bittersweet to say the least. The crib has been through all four of our children, it has watched them all grow from newborns to toddlers. It is the last thing that symbolizes infants in this house. So no more cribs or bassinets, just big kid beds.

For those that know me, this is huge. I have had a baby in my arms for almost nine years straight now. I know it is a natural progression to raise babies and then move on to the next stage of your life, but I am not very happy about it. I am sort of ill inside about it. My arms physically ache to rock another newborn. Not just any newborn, I can do that any day at work, but my newborn. My baby with perfect blonde curls and pale blue eyes. My baby who smells of baby magic from head to toe. It is ok, I will get over it, life is getting a little easier around here lately. I have more time to spend with the older ones again, and I am getting used to sleeping all night.

big girl in a big bed.

i know what you all are saying... and no there wont be any more babies out of this body, but that doesn't rule out adoption!!

baseball and einstein

2009-05-04T20:14:00.006-05:00

i have had many requests to please put up a new blog so that the nasty squiddles were not at the top of the page anymore.
this week's main events were carson's first baseball game, molly's einstein project and mama's swine flu drama at work. i have pictures of the first two.

im not certain, but i doubt little boys get much cuter than this.

while he was out running bases, molly and i were creating this. it is albert einstein, i hope you could tell. as if turning in homework every morning, book lists, reading logs, math logs, snack days, 100 day projects, teacher appreciation day, star of the week posters, book fairs, spirit days aren't enough, we get to make people out of cereal boxes. do these people not realize we are busy dealing with poopy diapers, dinner and the swine flu for goodness sakes???

squiddles

2009-04-27T16:48:00.007-05:00

here is a super gross and yummy treat for your children.
surprisingly, my kids gobbled it right up and even asked for seconds.

so when you have a good 45 minutes to stick spaghetti through hot dogs one afternoon, you should try it.

five things i am thankful for this thursday

2009-04-16T14:50:00.004-05:00

Again, don't look for a commitment from me, that every thursday i will have this list refreshed and ready to go... just happens to be flowing today.

i am thankful i have a job that feeds and keeps my household comfortable. (that even with a silly dem in office, my lifestyle hasn't been terribly affected thus far)

i am thankful i have 5 other amazing people sharing my home with me. 5 other people to eat the food i cook, listen to stories i read and watch my tv shows with me at night. i am never alone, and that is a great blessing to this girl.

i am thankful for my friends. they keep me sane, keep me laughing, keep me in check. they are good people who i would be a mess without.

i am thankful my body is healthy, disease and pain free most of the time. i am able to go run, play, garden, dance all without a second thought.

i am thankful to live in a nice neighborhood with good neighbors, a nice park, pool and walking trail and plenty of great friends for my children. (even if i work every weekend and miss out on all the fun)

so there you have it... when you hear me whining remind me of these things and most importantly, remind me that "whiners are weiners"
(classic quote from a friend)

party with your shirts off

2009-04-13T18:23:00.003-05:00

when it is nasty and rainy outside, one thing can always brighten your day. bust out guitar hero and party with your shirts off. ok, well one of us does anyway.

at the wal-mart

2009-04-09T00:03:00.002-05:00

here is a funny story that happened to me at "the wal-mart". we ran in to get some things that i forgot when i was there two days ago, and forgot when i was at target the day before that.
i was trying to keep them happy and calm at checkout when maggie noticed a whole end cap full of goldfish crackers. molly and carson were begging for gum and ashton was asking for some sort of sour spray. i compromised on two packs of trident that they could share and started hauling off the cart to the exit.
there was some nice old man that kindly let me walk in front of him while he waited for me to get my ducklings in a row. when we were right outside the door maggie starts screaming in my ear "HEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY" what baby, what on earth is wrong? "HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY"
she screams. but she is looking at that old man. he turns and kind of sheepishly looks at her, and she proceeds to scream for all of the patrons at the wal-mart to hear, "HEY DOZE ARE MY GOWD FISH, MINE" oh my, maggie there aren't any goldfish around here honey, please stop screaming. "HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY STOP!!!"
"RIGHT DARE, DAT MAN HAS MY GOWD FISH. HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY! MINE!!!!"
and yes, sure enough the man has a bag of gold fish in his sack. he just sort of stares at us and goes on his way. that really set her off and she is wriggling to get out of my one arm that is holding her and not the cart. i race to the van and strap the screaming child in while everyone else is just happily chewing their trident.
i mean, seriously, what one year old has enough gall to go chase down a stranger and steal his goldfish? maggie juliette i guess.

dinner & dancing

2009-03-31T19:43:00.006-05:00

sorry, no time to blog lately. i have been self indulged in the twilight series, reading this crazy vampire story every free chance i get.
i have also had lots of time off work (comparatively speaking) and have been soaking up my family, reintroducing myself as mama in this crazy house. we spent the night tonight watching old home videos of molly and carson when they were babies. so amazing how time flies by. jeff and i talked how we would pay every last cent to go back and relive just a moment of those early days. then we looked around us and realized we are still in the early days, still surrounded by other little bitty bodies. here is a glimpse at today's silliness, just more maggie dancing. i guess some day i will be watching this video and wishing to go back to these days too.

one more, me trying to get supper on the table. time out for a quick battle between the princess and ashton over who drank out of whose sippy cup. always a peaceful time, 5 o'clock.

2009-03-14T00:13:00.002-05:00

I have had sick children at my house for the last week. high fevers, coughs, crabby mean children x 4. when i was leaving the house tonight, they were all stir crazy and my husband decided it would be a fun outing to go swimming at the community center. as in, by himself with all four and a large area of water. did i mention the baby hadn't napped today and was throwing herself on the floor screaming at my three year old "im da princess a-ton, im da princess!!" i said, im glad there are lifeguards, have a good time.

so he called me after they got home and i asked how it went. well, maggie loves the water now, and so does ashton. the kids had fun swimming and going down the giant water slide while jeff carted around the little ones. they stayed in the water until 8:20, which is late for my children.
he got maggie and ashton out, dried off maggie and changed her back into clothes and a dry diaper. he got her little fur boots back on and in that time ashton had stripped down to nothing and headed back into the pool. naked. in front of all the other children and families. of course nobody helped him, they just giggled and watched the entertainment.
so he runs into the pool and gets ashton out, who is having a ball with all the attention.
in that time maggie took off running right into the water and started climbing up the little froggy slide, fully clothed. back in the water he goes, grabs a soaking wet maggie and wraps the little streaker in a towel. who proceeds to flash anyone who will look at him.
i forgot to mention the lifeguard blew his whistle on him both times to tell him you can't swim naked, and you cant swim fully clothed.
i thought taking four children swimming might be a touch ambitious babe.

two things

2009-03-02T04:23:00.008-06:00

a couple things touched me tonight. i was walking into work on my fourth night, the ucc is packed beyond compare, standing room only, and i was following in this guy. he was walking ahead of me and had on carhart jeans, work boots, roughened dirty hands and a scruffy face. a blue collar worker, big, burly guy. in one arm was a bag with a soft little brand new pink bear, in the other a take out bag of dinner. a daddy going to see his little girl in the hospital, who thought to stop and buy her a pink teddy bear on his way in. i don't know why, but i wished for a camera, he was so gruff looking, and then his arms full of things for his daughter and wife just melted me. maybe im just working too much.

anyhow, on to the other thing. i sent my friend a copy of this poem when she found out she was pregnant with number five. it has always been a favorite of mine, and i saw it posted on mcmama's blog tonight.

i will post it here, its just another little thing that gets me right in that (love your children so much it hurts) spot.

Song for a Fifth Child.

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth, Empty the dustpan, poison the moth.

Hang out the washing, make up the bed, Sew on a button and butter the bread

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue.

Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due.

Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo.

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew.

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue? Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow -

But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

love and logic

2009-02-27T00:49:00.007-06:00

i can't remember how to love and logic. im the queen of love and logic, ask anybody i could work for the authors. i must find my books and re-read them. this little pistol of mine is just trying to outsmart me, test my parenting skills, prove that i haven't learned anything in eight years and the three children who came before her.

i tell her, "no maggie, no cookies, not now we are getting ready for dinner." she says,

"mmmmm cookies!!" like she is just so happy and how could i say no to that?

i say, "no cookies, its dinner time."

she says nothing, just picks up the bag and walks over to me and looks up at me with her big blue eyes, gives a tiny grin, and then hauls off and smacks my leg.

i crouch down to her level and say very calmly "maggie, no hitting, ever. do you understand me?"

she looks right in my eyes and says "NO."

i grab her chubby little arms and hold them down and try again. "no hitting anyone, ever maggie, do you understand?"

she looks right in my eyes, pauses, thinks a little, and again says "NO."

we do this three more times, and then she says, "mimi hab cookies, mmmmm, and they mine."

what did we learn from this? that i have lost my touch.

tomorrow we will be starting the whole, "uh oh, that's sad mimi..." you know the drill.

***if you haven't read holly's latest blog post, please do, it will have you in stitches.

rock paper scissors

2009-02-24T20:25:00.007-06:00

so we spent the day playing in the rocks, as usual when its nice out.

where is molly you ask? oh ya, we were busy playing with scissors, her and i.
i don't know what got into her, but today she was determined to give her hair to locks for love. so we did. i cut an 11 inch pony tail off in one swift chop and took her down to the hair dresser to even it up.

it came out darling, but she looks so stinkin old! where did my baby molly go? although i love how it turned out, i can't help but feel a little bit of sadness when i glance at that long curly ponytail... its just who she always has been, the little girl with long blond hair. now she is this super sophisticated looking big girl. she loves it and is just giddy excited over her new makeover.

as with everything else, mama will get used to it.